yesterday's ramblings

yesterday i began writing a post {which is now sitting in my drafts, unpublished}
it was full of whining. FULL of it.
how so many aspects of my life haven't been going the way i want them to this week.
how life has been SO full of stress -- places to be, projects to accomplish, things i do/do not want to do, etc.
and i was just tired.

so i took a time out from life.
my friends and i decided to give spinning a try.

i admit.  i was preparing myself to hate it.  absolutely LOATHE it.
and there were moments i did.  but surprisingly enough, i found moments where i was not only tolerating it, but ENJOYING it.  weird.
but i got kind of bored too.  so maybe not my first choice of exercise...but i would definitely be okay doing it again.

and then it was time for my group paper meeting.  boy.  i hate canada right now.

and then i got an invite to hang out and take another mental break, which it sounds like we both really needed.  sometimes hot chocolate, funny people, and movies can really cure things...

because today i feel okay :)

things will never be the same

During my last month in Logan, I thought to myself about how much I didn't want to leave.  One thought that often crossed my mind was "things are never going to be the same."  I don't know why I thought that so often, but I knew deep down it was true.

As the school year was ending, I knew some really great things were coming to an end.  No more watching silly TV shows or random movies on Netflix with my best friends.  Midnight trips to eat McDonald's hamburgers in Petsmart's parking lot and talking about life were over.  Walking 50 steps or less and being in my best friend's living room was no longer going to be a reality.

And I knew the happiest school year of my life was soon to be over.  Fall semester, overall, was good.  Especially comparing it to my freshman year, it was wonderful.  And then, somehow, spring semester was even better.  And I became worried that nothing would be able to top this school year.

But then I realized, I don't need to be comparing the years to each other.   Sure, there are going to be some experiences that are greater than others, but I won't be appreciating the greatness of the moment if I'm trying to compare it to something else that's completely different.

And I've already learned that things are going to be much different than I even imagined last April.  And although they're some major changes, most sound like they'll be good in the long run.  And for the ones I'm unsure about...well...I can only hope for the best.

insomnia

The best time to write a blog post is at 2:30 in the morning, right?  As anyone can tell, I haven't had much of a care to write to the blog as often as I used to.  And honestly, that's mainly because my life is really not that exciting.  I'm not engaged or married like a gaggle of girls my age.  And I have nothing against them...most of the time I don't mind seeing people in love.  It's good to see people happy :)  But I'm not dating anyone either, and hell, now that I've moved home, I'm not even hanging out with anybody.  And, I don't know...I guess I don't feel like sharing *all* my thoughts with the entire world.  But, most are okay to share...just boring haha.

Words don't flow as easily as they used to...or maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist.  It's different when you write knowing other people will read it versus just writing for yourself...except I'm half-writing that way anyway considering I'm just rambling random things.

Anyway, here's life as of late:

• I moved home a week ago today....weird.  It feels like it's been two.
• I don't know how I'm going to handle four months here.
• I miss Logan.  Maybe not as much as the first three days of being home.  Or maybe just differently.  It doesn't make much sense to cry about it {anymore...}.  But I miss it.  And mainly people.  And it makes me sad knowing things are never going to be the same again.  But hopefully that just means greater things are in store.  They better be.
• Sophomore year definitely trumps freshman year.  It was like night and day.
  
• I dyed my hair after moving home.  My grandma has made sure to tell me how awful it looks and "why would you do such a thing?"  What I don't understand is, back in the day, she used to dye her hair even darker than mine, or so I hear.  Anyway, it's darker than I expected...but it's not bad and no one else seems to mind it haha.  I love old people and their honesty though :)
• Wednesday and Thursday I got super sunburned.  As I told the Facebook and Instagram worlds...I may be brunette, but I have skin that burns like a ginger.  My legs are still on fire...but at least my body doesn't seem to be in shock anymore :)
• 7 and half hours of painting posts and picnic tables is not really my idea of fun, especially when you're schedule for 5.  But hey, it's money!  That's where day 1's sunburn came from.  Day 2 came from being outside all day with Steph, Bailey, and the bunny {I swear that thing is her new child...it goes EVERYWHERE with her}
• The people I miss the most are still in Logan.  Thank heavens for technology.
• Bountiful's a lonely place.  Hopefully I'll figure out how to change that.
• Grades turned out okay.  Okay...better than okay.  I freak out over nothing, like all the time.  I still don't understand how I pulled off an A- in Spanish when I really can't speak the language...
• I got a phone call telling me I've officially been put into the apartment I want.  Yay!
• Since moving home I don't sleep as well.  I either can't fall asleep...or can't stay asleep.  Which probably explains why I'm up past three.
• My eyesight is horrible.  I've been too lazy to find my glasses...although I'm pretty sure they're in a tote within a foot or two...but anyway that's not the point of this bullet.  The point is to say my laptop is on my stomach and if I cover my left eye, I can't read a thing.  
• During Finals Week I was obsessed with The Cab and Andy Grammer.  Still kind of am...but now I have real radio in addition to Spotify.
• And here are some new lovelies I've discovered recently:
• Beware.  This next one has a little bit of language.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Isn't this so pretty?

Anywho...I guess this is enough rambling for tonight.  I'd apologize for not being completely happy, optimistic, and cheerful...but that's a stupid reason to apologize for haha.  I'd rather just be honest.

Anyway...nighty night!  Or good morning?

spending, bowling, and thoughts

So I've been on a bit of a spending spree lately.  It may not be the best thing for the bank account...but it's becoming quite great for the closet.  I'm waiting on a hoodie I bought off of Etsy that I decided I would be way too sad if someone else bought it.  I also hit up Old Navy and bought two shirts and three pairs of skinny jeans in the past week.  And I want to go buy one more pair.  These are probably some of the most comfortable pants I've worn {that are socially appropriate :) } and I get compliments to boot.  But seriously.  I have to buy the pink ones.  I neeeed them.

I have green pants! :)  

And last night I went bowling with some work peeps.  They're really such a fun group of people.  I work twice again this week.  Thankfully I'm already home for spring break so I don't have to drive back and forth to Logan.  So glad I only have to deal with about a month of the driving shenanigans.

It's been a contemplative Sunday with much to think about.  Thankfully I have friends who let me ramble all my random and not-so-random thoughts to them.

p.s.  I'm super glad last week is finally over.  It was crazy busy, which wouldn't be too bad if I enjoyed more of what it was filled with...but essays, homework, and stress just don't float my boat.

Here's hoping for a fabulous week for us all! :)

eleven things

Janie at Falling up the Stairs tagged me in her eleven things post.  Just so you know she is probably one of the funniest girls you will ever meet, has a great sense of style, and is just plain GORGEOUS!  Like seriously.

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.

1.  Pulling faces makes me look less scary when I don't do my hair and makeup, right?
2.  I hiccup randomly.  And I do it a lot. {one time I counted 57 in a day} My sister is nice - "I'm going to punch you in the throat!"  But really she wouldn't...I think.
3.  I have been punched in the face.
4.  Growing up I was the pickiest eater.  Now I eat real food.
5.  Easter has the best candy, hands down. {Hersheys and Cadbury eggs!}
6.  I say I'm not crafty.  Then I realize I am...a little bit.  But really, I just like easy Pinterest projects.
7.  I hate that I can watch a movie ten times and can't quote any of it, but someone can watch it once and have the whole thing down.
8.  I have done and continue to plan on doing nothing all day.  Actually, does finishing an English essay count?  If so, then I've accomplished at least one thing.  {seriously.  today so far = shower, paper, computer, and figure out work stuff.}  But being sick justifies my lack of accomplishments, right?
9.  This is the start of year number six at my job.
10. I like to speed. I have yet to be pulled over. {knock on wood}
11. I've listened to this song ten thousand times in the past week.  Okay not really, but over 50.  Thanks Pandora for introducing me to the most beautifully sad song of my life.




And now for Janie Jane's questions:

1.  If you could win a shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and why?
Is picking a really expensive store and selling all of it online against the rules?  Actually I think Target is pretty great...but maybe not shopping spree worthy.  How about we imagine I have a house to fill with Pottery Barn.  I think that would work.

2.  What is your favorite memory?
At this point in time it's probably my high school choir trip.  It was super fun, I was super happy, and life was lookin' up.

3.  Edward or Jacob?
Haha really Jane?  If I remember right, I liked Edward in the books better. I've only seen the first movie...so I can't really judge those.  They both suck though, don't they?

4.  What is your dream job?
Honestly I'd be content working part-time somewhere and filling the rest of my time being a mom.

5.  Who was your Jr. High crush?
First junior high crush?  Austin.

6.  What is your least favorite chore and why?
Cleaning the bathtub!  It's just so awful.

7.   If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life which would it be?
Chicken.  Mmm.

8.  What is your favorite smell?
Coconut.  And pleasant smelling men.

9.  If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
I would probably terrorize all my friends who believe in ghosts :)

10. You are on the red carpet, who would you pick for your date?
Hmm. I would say Ryan Gosling.  But James Marsden is a babe too.  I think I would prefer him.

11. Why do you blog?
My freshman year of my roommates started at blog.  I decided to start my own as did Janie.  It makes for an easy way to remember life.  I blog mainly for me...but enjoy sharing it with others too :)

Here are questions if you'd like to play along.  I know many people have already done it.  Or you can feel free to pick one or more and answer in the comments.

1.  If you could pick an animal to turn someone you don't like into, what would it be and why?
2.  What song(s) do you listen to on repeat?
3.  Is pulling faces or smiling for pictures better?
4.  Would you leave your house without officially getting ready for the day?
5.  Beverage of choice?
6.  Do you like socks?  Why or why not?
7.  Would you want to know when the big events are going to happen in your life?
8.  Favorite TV show growing up?
9.  Favorite book or series growing up?
10. Who would you pick to be your fake boyfriend (real or fictional)?
11. What restaurant do you wish would put you on the list of people who receive free food?

Have fun! :)

writing

lately i feel all the times i have felt like blogging have come at the worst times {i have really great conversations with myself with the hour-ish drive between home and school}

all of the times that are convenient i feel like i have nothing to say. or i just don't want to put forth the effort to articulate my words into sentences like i want them or find pictures or...endless excuses haha.

and almost all the time, people who want to spend time with me win out over this screen.  and sometimes naps do too.  like today. and yesterday :) and unfortunately school should too.

hopefully soon i can get back into the swing of things.  i can blog about this past weekend.  and random thoughts. and the other stupid stories of my life haha.

and these are my ramblings for a boring tuesday night