goals and motivation

via

Lately I've been thinking a lot about motivation.  I believe that everyone has a core motivator-- a reason that explains most, if not all the decisions they make in life, whether or not they may make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.

Some of the motivators I can think of off the top of my head include:  money and wealth, knowledge, fun, love and kindness, recognition and power.

Even though someone may be a top executive in their company, their reasoning for why they choose to hold that position is sure to vary.  John may love seeing his bank account increase.   Sally may purely love working in the industry -- she doesn't necessarily need the money, but she enjoys working.  Maybe another exec loves having CEO or CFO as part of their title.  Maybe he or she gets joy watching subordinates squirm and work extra hard as they walk into a room {if this is you, everyone probably hates you}.  Others do it because they have loved ones they wish to take care of and provide the best for.  Honestly, the list could go on and on.

Maybe I've been thinking about this more because I've been talking to this kid whose personal motivator is SO different than mine.  I admire him, but some of his main goals are things that take a back burner in my life.  I think Elise hit the nail right on the head when she said "I am different. I want different things, I react different, and I am not pursuing the same men {or goals} as them. And even if I was, it would be a completely different situation. What worked for their situation, worked for their situation. Are you understanding what I mean by there are no rules?"

That's one of the things I love so much.  We are all DIFFERENT!  Sometimes I worry that my goals in life are insignificant, that they don't amount to much.  And that's just inside my own head.  And then when people tell me their big dreams for the future and how they plan on achieving them, {depending on the day} it seems to just increase the feelings of insignificance for my own.

Just because I don't dream of having a 7+ digit bank account or some BIG title next to my name doesn't mean that my goals are unimportant.  If we were all striving for the same things, the world would have a lot of failures.  And the funny thing is, I can't think of an instance where someone has told me the things I want to do in life are stupid {granted, it's not something I talk about often, or with random people...}  Really, the person who sets my biggest limitations and is the source of all the insecurities is myself.

It's important to remember you don't have to be the "best," you just have to be "good enough."  Only one person can be the best, while many people can be really great.  Just be the best YOU can be and the rest will take care of itself.

plans

One thing I like to have is a plan...or at least a general idea of what I'm doing/what's going on.
It's one of the reasons I struggled with being undeclared until I was a junior.  I felt like I had no plan, no direction, and no idea where I was going.  And then, once I figured out it was supposed to be business, life was well in that area.

Now I've hit another bump in life where I feel like I have no plan.  I don't know where I'm going.  I don't know what I'm doing.  As soon as I feel like I'm making decisions, I change my mind, start second guessing myself, or it just plain falls through, which I find the most frustrating part of all.

And I'm to the point I'm not sure what to do, except to have faith that God has a plan for me, and that His plan is the best.  It means that I still have to keep searching.  Everything's not going to fall into place without any effort.  But I guess I'm going to have to develop greater patience too.

Anyway...here is some happiness from Pinterest :)

Source: imgfave.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: spirituallythinking.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: petvideostoday.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: lollyjaneboutique.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: angelamuir.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: blogginwithbobbi.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

{I didn't intentionally put so many quotes from church leaders...but what can I say?  They're pretty wise :) }

disappear

Sometimes I like to disappear and reappear on this little blog.  It's not the first time...and I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the last.

Washington D.C. temple in December

Anyway....in my absence, life has happened.  Nothing too exciting, but life is good.
Here's some of my goings-on:

• Lots and lots of school
• ALL business classes this semester
• Some are super boring...so thankfully I have friends to keep me sane
• Some professors are super rad
• I got a promotion at work....not one hundred percent sure what it entails yet, but it should be good!
• I flew to Maryland in December to visit my seester -- super fun and super pretty :)
• MLK weekend = my roommate's cabin at Bear Lake
• The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Mumford & Sons, and Imagine Dragons have been on constant repeat
• Countless games of Murder in the Dark have been played with Old Farm friends
• I've become addicted to The Walking Dead
• I've also developed an addiction to Wheat Thins
• With all the snow and ice we've had I'm proud to say I've only fallen twice {and only bruised once} 

Sometimes it's nice to have life be semi-slow....it gives you a lot more time to enjoy it :)

beauty

Snow.

In my vocabulary, snow is usually a word letter word {okay....so it is a four letter word}.

Today my roommates and I were unable to drive to a Linger Longer {awesome food + socializing after church} because our roommate with 4-wheel drive went home for the weekend and the roommate with the best tires was unable to make it out of the parking lot.  So we hitched a ride to the church...but this also meant we were left car-less up there.  Instead of mooching a ride back {which I'm sure someone would have gladly given us}, we decided to make the journey home on foot.

And I'm so glad we did.

Beauty surrounds us every day.

Sometimes we don't realize it.  Or choose to complain instead.

• "It's too cold"
• "I hate shoveling"
• "People drive too slow"
• "Can it just be summer already?"
• "I am so tired of the snow!!!"
• And a myriad of other complaints floating around

Normally, I'm quite guilty of this and would have a hatred of snow building inside me too.  This week I'm deciding to

Appreciate More, Complain Less

I do wish sidewalks and roads could shovel and plow themselves though...

I sure do love our pretty little winter wonderland we've been given :)

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Sometimes people post on Facebook just the thing I need to read...and today it happened twice.

“So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness, a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial. The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.” - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

and 

It's a bad day. Not a bad life.

I won't lie.  Today has been a rough day.  Not sure why....just a lot of little things adding up.  And I'm not sure how it goes for everybody, but I know that when I'm having a bad day, it's so much easier to see my flaws and all the inadequacies in my life.  And that was just making life worse.

But what's nice about life is that a day can only last so long.  After twenty four hours, a new one is given to us.  So no matter how bad it may be, it can't last longer than that.  For me, sleep helps a lot of things.  So I'm kind of excited to go to sleep tonight and leave today behind.

Semi-related side note:

As I was flipping through pages on iTunes,  I found this gem.

Fun Fact For Ya {triple-F-Y}:  This song totally reminds me of family road trips to Boise.  We had a cassette tape I feel like we always listened to.  And I'm pretty sure this was the first song.  I only remember a handful of other songs on it....and even though the road trips felt long, this tape is a good memory :)

attitude of gratitude {days 9-19}

I'm super behind with this project...but here's the next section anyway.  {click here for part 1}

9 - friends - I'm grateful for all my friends, no matter the length of the friendship.  They have gotten me through the good and the bad times and have shaped much of who I have become.  They teach me things I never knew about myself.  They keep my thoroughly entertained.  I love them.

10 - indoor plumbing - Who honestly wants to squat over a hole in the backyard?  Or run outside to an outhouse?  Especially in the middle of winter.  No thank you.  Whoever invented toilet paper?  Genius.  Also, never having to share bath water with siblings?  Awesomeness.  I like showers.

11 - government and military - I am so blessed to live in a place where I am free to choose what to do with my life, have guaranteed rights and liberties, and the opportunity to have a say in how our country is run (aka the right to vote).  I grateful for those who sacrifice their time, and even their life, to serve this country and its citizens to protect their freedoms.

12 - cell phones - I complain about how much I hate my phone often-- how slow it is, functions it doesn't have, and just how crappy it is in general.  But really, it does so much for me.  I take pictures on it more than I do with my real camera.  It helps me to keep in touch with family and friends through phone calls, texting, and social media apps.  It prevents me from getting completely lost with navigation and answers stupid questions with Google.

13 - ducks {and geese} - Ducks are pretty much the greatest animal on the planet.  They are definitely in my top three favorite animals.  For some reason, they make me unexplainably happy.  I haven't been infatuated with them as much this school year, but I still think they're pretty awesome.

14 - zumba - So if you know me, like, at all, you know growing up I was not athletic at all.  I hated sports.  I hated gym.  Being athletic was NOT my forte.  Then, one of the summers after high school, I decided to give AquaZumba a shot.  My mom and her friends (who are pretty much my second and third moms) were doing it...so if middle-aged moms could do it, a nineteen year old could, right?  Right!  I fell in love.  The next fall I signed up for a normal Zumba class for school and the love has continued.  Who knew exercising could be fun?

15 - shameless self-photos - If somebody was to look through the pictures on my phone, they would probably tell me the amount of pictures I take of myself is obscene.  Honestly, I just get bored....so this occasionally provides a form of entertainment.

clothes AND shameless self-portraits....embarrassing eh?

16 - clothes - Granted, a small percentage of the population could probably walk around without clothes and nobody would complain...but for the majority clothing is a good great thing.  Clothes cover up some of the scars, flaws, and imperfections I don't wish to share with the world.  It allows me to express myself.  I definitely am not a pro at throwing outfits together, but knowing how I used to dress, I can say I am significantly better at it.

17 - Aggie Athletics - I don't care if you have a card proclaiming you are a "True Aggie" because you kissed somebody on the A at midnight the night of a full moon.  You are NOT a True Aggie if you do not support Aggie sports.  Last Saturday some of my roommates and I sat in the Spectrum for over six hours watching the football and basketball games.  The football game was crazy.  I'll admit, I got worried.  I lost hope even. The last half we weren't doing so hot, so how could we win?  Whelp, we went into overtime, and guess what?  The Aggies pulled through, won, and now are ranked #25.  Basketball did not disappoint either.  I love screaming and cheering on my Aggies.

18 - parents who love each other - It's often easy to take something like this for granted.  It's just life to me.  But then life sinks in and I see friends whose parents are divorced.  Or have friends say they think their parents should divorce.  As a kid, I know I played out the scenario of "which parent would you live with if they got divorced?" in my head (did other people do that too? or was I just a weird kid?), but ultimately, I knew I would never have to choose.  Ever.  I was certain.  I always knew my parents loved each other.  I still do.  And I hope that one day, I'll be able to have a forever marriage like theirs.

19 - creativity - My creativity lacks a lot of times.  But I'm thankful for those who are creative...and even more thankful for those who share their creativity on the internet.  Because, then it allows others, such as my only-semi-creative-self, to get ideas and do awesome things.  Pinterest has allowed for new crafts ideas galore.  Every once in a while, I do create something with my own imagination, but, by golly, others have such nifty ideas!

major decisions

Over the summer I finally decided what I want to do with my life.

Okay.  False.  I still have no idea what I want to do with life...but I at least was able to come to a decision as to what major to declare.  It was something I had struggled with for a long time.  All growing up, junior high and high school counselors would look at my grades and say, "You can be anything you want to be!" "With grades like those, you will succeed in any direction you choose to take!"

Well...as an indecisive person that was not news I loved hearing.  I did like hearing I was "smart," but I hated the lack of direction.  I liked and disliked everything at the same time.  I didn't really have a passion for any particular subject that screamed to me, "Go this way!  Pick me!"

So once I got to college I remained undeclared.  I took a variety of classes- psychology, chemistry, Spanish, English, computer science, sociology, and so much more.  There was only one area that I noticed a pattern in the classes I took.  I kept taking classes from the FCHD (family, consumer, and human development) department.  I loved those classes.  I still do.  Classes about families, marriages, development of the human body, finances...they were all my favorites.  I considered taking a similar route to these courses and become a FCSE (family and consumer science education) major.  I thought it could be super cool to be a junior high or high school teacher and teach the "fun" classes like foods, sewing, and interior design...and even the "not fun" ones like financial literacy.  I found something I liked.  It should be simple enough to declare my major, right?

Wrong.  Something about it just never felt "right" to declare.  I didn't know how to use it to help me in the workforce, except becoming a teacher.  I can see all the applicable ways in my personal life...but professionally I felt very limited.  It confused and frustrated me.  I couldn't seem to find anything that I felt okay about pursuing.

And as more and more time passed me by, the more it stressed me out and worried me.  The topic was a pretty sensitive one at the time.  Any time anyone would bring the subject of my major up (and was either really close to me personally...or just really pressed it)  I would always end up with tears in my eyes.  Thoughts would always come: "Why can't I figure out what I want to do with my life?"  "Why can everyone else come to a decision, but I can't?"  "Why does this not feel 'right' for me...yet it's 'right' for bunches of other people?"  "I'm just wasting my time in school.  I should just drop out.  Except that would be stupid.  My parents would kill me...and I wouldn't be doing anything better with my time."  "What's wrong with me?"

This summer my mom pointed out to me what's been sitting in front of my face for the longest time.  Seriously.  The.  Longest. Time.  It's something I've spent a good chunk {aka 6 years} of my life doing.

"You love your job.  Why don't you declare something that relates?"

I thought about it.  And it was obvious....and I had been completely oblivious to it the whole time.

With the help of my mom, I decided Human Resources would be an awesome fit for my life.  My job already entailed some aspects of it, and the other ones seemed like stuff I'd be able to handle.

Step 1:  Call Utah State's Advising Center and set up an appointment.  Knowing I didn't have the pre-requisites done, I made it with an "undeclared, business" adviser.

Step 2:  Drive to Logan with Eryka.  Park.  Go to the TSC and meet with said adviser.

Step 3:  Walk into her office.  Right off the bat she says, "So, the note about your appointment says you're interested in majoring in Human Resources.  We actually stopped offering that major for bachelor's degrees" and listed multiple reasons why.  "Here are other business degrees you could major in, and then have HR as your minor.  Oh.  And really you don't want to be meeting with me, you want to set up an appointment to meet with a business adviser and officially declare a major."  Me:  "What?  I don't have the pre-reqs done."  Adviser: "If your GPA is above *this level* (3.95 maybe?)  you can declare earlier.  You have a 3.96."  Yada yada yada...I leave her office.

Step 4:  Find Eryka.  Say "Sorry...I'm not done yet.  UGH."  And hurry my behind over to the business building.  We wander for a minute until we can find their advisement office.  I patiently stand in front of the counter while Office Lady is on the phone...and wait and wait.  Until somebody else notices me and asks how she can help me.  "Oh.  You want to talk to Paige.  She's out of town until next week."  Totally not music to my ears.  "But, here...I can declare your major for you."

So...I'm getting a BS in BA.  I wish that stood for a B.S. degree in Bad A**-ery...but unfortunately it doesn't.  Here's to a Bachelors of Science in Business Administration.  Totally not as cool.

Step 5:  Go eat lunch with Eryka and Elise.  Then check out Violet Hill Boutique's new digs in the mall.  You wouldn't think this is such a necessary step...but it is.

The next week I made another appointment to talk to a *real* adviser and got my life sorted out.  I didn't feel like she helped me a whole lot...but it's still good to talk to someone who knows what they're talking about.  I thought we'd get my schedule all hammered out in her office and officially registered for classes.  Instead, she just said "here ya go" with a list of stuff, answered a few questions, but ultimately, didn't do a whole lot that I wouldn't be able to figure out on my own.

I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree, but I know it'll be useful in the long run.  All I know is that, at least for now, it feels "right" and that I actually feel like I'm working toward something.  I also know that I'm not 100% obligated to hold fast to this.  I'm still allowed to change my mind.  I don't have to have all the answers now...but I'm glad I at least have some of them :)

sombreros, gangnam style, and a cardboard cat

So, minus the fact I've been sick, this weekend has been pretty stellar.

Highlights include:

• Scoring a super comfy, super cute hoodie for practically half price
• Olive Garden {salad and breadsticks?!  mmm..and pasta :) super delish}
• Aggie basketball....and even better because we won! {there were some moments the score was WAY too close for comfort}
• Hanging out with these cool kids

photo stolen from Alyse

So...we pretty much had a mobile dance party.  We all dressed up {too bad you can't see the back of my jacket...it's a party of its own}.  Basically Sombrero Man {Blake} would knock on an apartment's door, make up some story which involved plugging his boombox into their wall, and start dancing.  {apparently people's initial reactions are pretty funny.}  We'd all pour into the apartment and party it up!  Some people would just stare at us...but others would hop up and dance too.  As we made our way from apartment to apartment our group doubled {at least!}  Most additions were just in normal clothes....but about halfway through we had the silly Old Farm gorilla join in!

I'm pretty sure I made myself sicker by screaming for my Aggies and dancing around all Saturday night....but I would do it again in a heartbeat!  I love my neighbors and the crazy shenanigans they think up :)

172 people

172 people = the number of students in my Managing Organizations and People class.
172 people = the amount of people I get to teach next Wednesday.

I'm intimidated.  This is one of my first business classes, yet it's upper division.  I feel like I don't know much.  I feel inadequate.  Plus, I am not a fan of speaking in front of huge groups.  Or at least not a fan of being responsible for them learning the material.

I'm the girl who is quiet.  The girl who likes to hide in the back of the class.  The girl who wants to be anonymous.

Sitting in that class, when groups were presenting what they were doing for their fundraisers, I just sat and watched how ridiculous some of them sounded with their schmoozing and sucking up.  Some were great presenters, but others felt like skeezy car dealers.

via

And as I'm preparing my part of the presentation {because thankfully I don't have to do it completely alone}, I am realizing that although it's not on my list of favorite things to do, or what I would ever voluntarily choose to do at this point in my life, I am still capable of doing it.  I have been at my job for the past six years, and during that time period, I have had experiences I can relate to the material I am teaching.  I'm just irritated I can't find the clip of The Office I want haha.

But seriously.  I *am* grateful for my job.  I actually have enjoyed it {and it's why I've decided to choose the business route for school}.  Even though there have been stressful days there, I am now able to use them as examples.  Here's to hoping Andrew and I can fill our 30-40 minutes and actually be understood :)

things will never be the same

During my last month in Logan, I thought to myself about how much I didn't want to leave.  One thought that often crossed my mind was "things are never going to be the same."  I don't know why I thought that so often, but I knew deep down it was true.

As the school year was ending, I knew some really great things were coming to an end.  No more watching silly TV shows or random movies on Netflix with my best friends.  Midnight trips to eat McDonald's hamburgers in Petsmart's parking lot and talking about life were over.  Walking 50 steps or less and being in my best friend's living room was no longer going to be a reality.

And I knew the happiest school year of my life was soon to be over.  Fall semester, overall, was good.  Especially comparing it to my freshman year, it was wonderful.  And then, somehow, spring semester was even better.  And I became worried that nothing would be able to top this school year.

But then I realized, I don't need to be comparing the years to each other.   Sure, there are going to be some experiences that are greater than others, but I won't be appreciating the greatness of the moment if I'm trying to compare it to something else that's completely different.

And I've already learned that things are going to be much different than I even imagined last April.  And although they're some major changes, most sound like they'll be good in the long run.  And for the ones I'm unsure about...well...I can only hope for the best.

insomnia

The best time to write a blog post is at 2:30 in the morning, right?  As anyone can tell, I haven't had much of a care to write to the blog as often as I used to.  And honestly, that's mainly because my life is really not that exciting.  I'm not engaged or married like a gaggle of girls my age.  And I have nothing against them...most of the time I don't mind seeing people in love.  It's good to see people happy :)  But I'm not dating anyone either, and hell, now that I've moved home, I'm not even hanging out with anybody.  And, I don't know...I guess I don't feel like sharing *all* my thoughts with the entire world.  But, most are okay to share...just boring haha.

Words don't flow as easily as they used to...or maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist.  It's different when you write knowing other people will read it versus just writing for yourself...except I'm half-writing that way anyway considering I'm just rambling random things.

Anyway, here's life as of late:

• I moved home a week ago today....weird.  It feels like it's been two.
• I don't know how I'm going to handle four months here.
• I miss Logan.  Maybe not as much as the first three days of being home.  Or maybe just differently.  It doesn't make much sense to cry about it {anymore...}.  But I miss it.  And mainly people.  And it makes me sad knowing things are never going to be the same again.  But hopefully that just means greater things are in store.  They better be.
• Sophomore year definitely trumps freshman year.  It was like night and day.
  
• I dyed my hair after moving home.  My grandma has made sure to tell me how awful it looks and "why would you do such a thing?"  What I don't understand is, back in the day, she used to dye her hair even darker than mine, or so I hear.  Anyway, it's darker than I expected...but it's not bad and no one else seems to mind it haha.  I love old people and their honesty though :)
• Wednesday and Thursday I got super sunburned.  As I told the Facebook and Instagram worlds...I may be brunette, but I have skin that burns like a ginger.  My legs are still on fire...but at least my body doesn't seem to be in shock anymore :)
• 7 and half hours of painting posts and picnic tables is not really my idea of fun, especially when you're schedule for 5.  But hey, it's money!  That's where day 1's sunburn came from.  Day 2 came from being outside all day with Steph, Bailey, and the bunny {I swear that thing is her new child...it goes EVERYWHERE with her}
• The people I miss the most are still in Logan.  Thank heavens for technology.
• Bountiful's a lonely place.  Hopefully I'll figure out how to change that.
• Grades turned out okay.  Okay...better than okay.  I freak out over nothing, like all the time.  I still don't understand how I pulled off an A- in Spanish when I really can't speak the language...
• I got a phone call telling me I've officially been put into the apartment I want.  Yay!
• Since moving home I don't sleep as well.  I either can't fall asleep...or can't stay asleep.  Which probably explains why I'm up past three.
• My eyesight is horrible.  I've been too lazy to find my glasses...although I'm pretty sure they're in a tote within a foot or two...but anyway that's not the point of this bullet.  The point is to say my laptop is on my stomach and if I cover my left eye, I can't read a thing.  
• During Finals Week I was obsessed with The Cab and Andy Grammer.  Still kind of am...but now I have real radio in addition to Spotify.
• And here are some new lovelies I've discovered recently:
• Beware.  This next one has a little bit of language.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Isn't this so pretty?

Anywho...I guess this is enough rambling for tonight.  I'd apologize for not being completely happy, optimistic, and cheerful...but that's a stupid reason to apologize for haha.  I'd rather just be honest.

Anyway...nighty night!  Or good morning?

what i've been up to - life dump

Honestly, I don't know what I've been up to lately.

I remember once upon a time I was going to post about my spring break adventures.  And then I never did. 

So let's back track to March.

Creighton, Kevin, and I got sushi.  Delish.

 And we went on an epic zoo adventure.

And I went out to three movies that week:  This Means War, Chronicle, and The Lorax.  I had heard mixed things about the Lorax, but I loved it.  And we {Angie, Kevin, Creighton, and I} went up to North Salt Lake and just ended up staring at the city.  I love city lights :)  The rest of the week was made up of yoga, Killer Bunnies, and a slurpee run with a talk on the Boulevard.

The next week consisted of Humans vs Zombies.  After half-heartedly signing up, I ended up having a lot of fun.  It looks like the stupidest game...but if you allow yourself, you will have good time! :)

Some of the roommates and I decided to go to Festival of Colors.  We'll let pictures do the talking.

That same weekend we saw the Hunger Games.  Love, love, LOVE that movie :)

One day I decided to have a "Make Kelly Happy Day" and did so by dressing up adorably.  Then instead of going to class as I had planned, I decided to ditch.  I ended up spending two hours going to the bank and finding flowers and a vase.  Honestly all the flowers sucked.  That is, until I found tulips at Maceys.  Tulips are pretty.  I kind of have a thing for them.

Probably this whole past month I've been under a ton of stress.  Or maybe anxiety.  Either way, it was no bueno.  I would wake up each morning feeling so sick.  Sometimes I just let the big things...and even more so, the little things...take a toll on me.  

On one of the bad days Kevin surprised me with flowers.  They're super pretty :)

Thankfully I'm feeling a lot better lately.  I think much of the stress has subsided, although I know priesthood blessings and a trip to the temple were helpful too.

I've seen and fed plenty of ducks lately too!!!!

Oh and I have not seen my cute duck couple in Logan since I have seen them in Bountiful...I think they must have gotten lost.

We also went on a...not-hike up Logan Canyon.  It was more of a walk.  We went back later that night and had a fire with s'mores

Odds and ends:

considering I thought I was going to fail that test...I think an 89 is super awesome :)

Oh and I found out that my English essay was one of the top in my class.  I get extra credit because of it and Thursday I'll get some award at our assembly/ceremony/whatever it is of all the English 2010 classes at that time.  It felt pretty awesome being told that my essay was one of the top just because I know what went into writing it.  There was a lot of effort behind it...and even more heart.

Tonight I went to Kevin's choir concert:

I listened most of the time!  I lost focus in the middle though...

And this is my attempt at a sneaky photo of the cute old couple next to me.  It was a fail though.  But I decided I want to grow up and be like them.  They were cute and holding hands and just being adorable.

Sorry it's kind of a picture dump and awful writing...but sometimes...okay a lot of times that's just what happens.  It feels nice being as caught up as I'm going to get...although I've missed a lot of details, but that's okay with me.

spending, bowling, and thoughts

So I've been on a bit of a spending spree lately.  It may not be the best thing for the bank account...but it's becoming quite great for the closet.  I'm waiting on a hoodie I bought off of Etsy that I decided I would be way too sad if someone else bought it.  I also hit up Old Navy and bought two shirts and three pairs of skinny jeans in the past week.  And I want to go buy one more pair.  These are probably some of the most comfortable pants I've worn {that are socially appropriate :) } and I get compliments to boot.  But seriously.  I have to buy the pink ones.  I neeeed them.

I have green pants! :)  

And last night I went bowling with some work peeps.  They're really such a fun group of people.  I work twice again this week.  Thankfully I'm already home for spring break so I don't have to drive back and forth to Logan.  So glad I only have to deal with about a month of the driving shenanigans.

It's been a contemplative Sunday with much to think about.  Thankfully I have friends who let me ramble all my random and not-so-random thoughts to them.

p.s.  I'm super glad last week is finally over.  It was crazy busy, which wouldn't be too bad if I enjoyed more of what it was filled with...but essays, homework, and stress just don't float my boat.

Here's hoping for a fabulous week for us all! :)

saturday night

It's a Saturday night.  And I'm home alone.

Not that I'm complaining.  Okay, I am a little bit.

Dumb work, home, and boys.  Stop stealing my friends.

My Friday night almost met the same fate.  But it was saved by Kylee and Janie!
I really need to remember to carry a camera around with me more.  Or at least take phone pictures.  Something!

camping last summer

Sometimes in college you forget you can have sleepovers....but last night we remembered that little fun fact!  So I grab my blankets, Augustus the pillow pet, and Richard the duck and carry them across the street and through a parking lot and a half.  The night consists of:

• Nearly walking into the wrong apartment {Kylee told me the wrong neighbors' apartment. oops!}
• Kylee telling/trying to teach Janie and I how to catch boys
• Semi-awkward questions
• Lots of laughter
• Pizza eating, soda drinking, muddy buddy scarfing
• Breaking Dawn part 1
• Drifting off to sleep on the plaid couch that reminds me of this one

old plaid couch...and oscar :)

I love these girls a lot - they really are tons of fun and I know I can be 100% myself around them.  I can talk to them about so much and I feel like they understand my mind a lot better than most people.  As long as everything works out they should be my roommates for next year.  We just need to have a chat with a gal named Mallory...and possibly bribe her :)

Oh!  And I had other things that made my Friday!

I was doing homework and was in a rather grumpy mood.  I clicked on a link...which I guess didn't exist or something because it redirected me to this:

I laughed for quite a while.  I wonder how many people actually e-mail him.

And then Shayna checked the mail and I had a letter!  There's this funny German guy who posts videos on YouTube and he said if you e-mailed him your address he would send you stickers.  Well I did it...but totally forgot about it.  So it was a nice little surprise when I had an envelope with my name on it.

I got 4 stickers and a postcard :)  Check him out here.  {some of my favorites here, here, here, and here}  Why yes, he is an interesting fellow...but he entertains me :)

I hope y'all are having a fabulous weekend!

eleven things

Janie at Falling up the Stairs tagged me in her eleven things post.  Just so you know she is probably one of the funniest girls you will ever meet, has a great sense of style, and is just plain GORGEOUS!  Like seriously.

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.

1.  Pulling faces makes me look less scary when I don't do my hair and makeup, right?
2.  I hiccup randomly.  And I do it a lot. {one time I counted 57 in a day} My sister is nice - "I'm going to punch you in the throat!"  But really she wouldn't...I think.
3.  I have been punched in the face.
4.  Growing up I was the pickiest eater.  Now I eat real food.
5.  Easter has the best candy, hands down. {Hersheys and Cadbury eggs!}
6.  I say I'm not crafty.  Then I realize I am...a little bit.  But really, I just like easy Pinterest projects.
7.  I hate that I can watch a movie ten times and can't quote any of it, but someone can watch it once and have the whole thing down.
8.  I have done and continue to plan on doing nothing all day.  Actually, does finishing an English essay count?  If so, then I've accomplished at least one thing.  {seriously.  today so far = shower, paper, computer, and figure out work stuff.}  But being sick justifies my lack of accomplishments, right?
9.  This is the start of year number six at my job.
10. I like to speed. I have yet to be pulled over. {knock on wood}
11. I've listened to this song ten thousand times in the past week.  Okay not really, but over 50.  Thanks Pandora for introducing me to the most beautifully sad song of my life.




And now for Janie Jane's questions:

1.  If you could win a shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and why?
Is picking a really expensive store and selling all of it online against the rules?  Actually I think Target is pretty great...but maybe not shopping spree worthy.  How about we imagine I have a house to fill with Pottery Barn.  I think that would work.

2.  What is your favorite memory?
At this point in time it's probably my high school choir trip.  It was super fun, I was super happy, and life was lookin' up.

3.  Edward or Jacob?
Haha really Jane?  If I remember right, I liked Edward in the books better. I've only seen the first movie...so I can't really judge those.  They both suck though, don't they?

4.  What is your dream job?
Honestly I'd be content working part-time somewhere and filling the rest of my time being a mom.

5.  Who was your Jr. High crush?
First junior high crush?  Austin.

6.  What is your least favorite chore and why?
Cleaning the bathtub!  It's just so awful.

7.   If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life which would it be?
Chicken.  Mmm.

8.  What is your favorite smell?
Coconut.  And pleasant smelling men.

9.  If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
I would probably terrorize all my friends who believe in ghosts :)

10. You are on the red carpet, who would you pick for your date?
Hmm. I would say Ryan Gosling.  But James Marsden is a babe too.  I think I would prefer him.

11. Why do you blog?
My freshman year of my roommates started at blog.  I decided to start my own as did Janie.  It makes for an easy way to remember life.  I blog mainly for me...but enjoy sharing it with others too :)

Here are questions if you'd like to play along.  I know many people have already done it.  Or you can feel free to pick one or more and answer in the comments.

1.  If you could pick an animal to turn someone you don't like into, what would it be and why?
2.  What song(s) do you listen to on repeat?
3.  Is pulling faces or smiling for pictures better?
4.  Would you leave your house without officially getting ready for the day?
5.  Beverage of choice?
6.  Do you like socks?  Why or why not?
7.  Would you want to know when the big events are going to happen in your life?
8.  Favorite TV show growing up?
9.  Favorite book or series growing up?
10. Who would you pick to be your fake boyfriend (real or fictional)?
11. What restaurant do you wish would put you on the list of people who receive free food?

Have fun! :)

writing

lately i feel all the times i have felt like blogging have come at the worst times {i have really great conversations with myself with the hour-ish drive between home and school}

all of the times that are convenient i feel like i have nothing to say. or i just don't want to put forth the effort to articulate my words into sentences like i want them or find pictures or...endless excuses haha.

and almost all the time, people who want to spend time with me win out over this screen.  and sometimes naps do too.  like today. and yesterday :) and unfortunately school should too.

hopefully soon i can get back into the swing of things.  i can blog about this past weekend.  and random thoughts. and the other stupid stories of my life haha.

and these are my ramblings for a boring tuesday night

gone

Life has been a bit crazy lately...I really need to be better about writing stories before I begin forgetting the details haha...anyway...we'll time travel back to last week for a minute.

On my laptop I have a folder of all my pictures prior to this computer.  Last week I opened it to look for pictures for a project and instead of being greeted by a plethora of pictures I am greeted by this message:

Now don't get me wrong.  I was sad that these pictures were gone.  Family vacations, nieces growing up, choir trip, graduation, etc.  My family computer I had them all stored on crashed a few months earlier and stuff was only partially recovered...so I was pretty sure everything was gone.  I ended up being okay with it all.  I figured I had a decent amount of pictures on Facebook, many pictures were dorky self-portraits of a funny looking girl, and everyone in the pictures was still in existence so I knew I would be able to get more even though they wouldn't be snapshots capturing the old memories.

Thursday I am looking on Pinterest and show my roommates this picture:

Source: dwellstudio.com via Kelly on Pinterest

The owl bedding is adorable...but what I was really focused on was the cute dachshund pillow on the bed.

You see....from about age 4 to age 18 my family had the cutest little wiener dog.  See?

Yeah.  Adorable, I know.  He wasn't very good at listening though.  I remember telling him explicitly before my choir trip he wasn't allowed to die while I was gone.  Yeah.  He failed at listening.  The night I got home and found out I bawled pretty much all night.  He was the friend who was always there no matter what was going on in life.

Anyway, back to the owl bedding.  I started googling dachshund things.  I'm sitting in our cute little grandpa recliner with my cute little green laptop resting in my cute little lap.  And suddenly, something in my brain clicks.  I scream NO!!! and have curious glances directed my way from inquisitive roommates.  I race to open the folder..and sure enough, my worst fear is confirmed.  The folder still looks like this:

EMPTY.  GONE.

I start laughing.  I start crying.  I am just a mess.  Those are the two dominant ways of dealing with my emotions and both decide to manifest themselves at the exact same moment.

"Kelly, are you okay?"

"I...I don't think so."  I sit, staring at my computer in disbelief, tears welling up in my eyes.

I sat for at least ten minutes staring at the screen.  Then, I notice button in the top right corner.  It says something about arranging the pictures by different things.  I click it and change the settings...and miraculously all the pictures fill the screen.  I was beyond excited.  I felt beyond stupid.  I knew how ridiculous I looked and sounded.  He was just a dog.  But really, he wasn't.  He was much, much more.