Dear Boys #5 {I think}

Oh man.  I forgot how scary blogs can be.  It never used to intimidate me, but somewhere along the line it changed.  Well, here goes nothing...

Dear Henry,
Thanks for being my baby boyfriend.
I think you're pretty cute placeholder.
I can't believe you and your sister are already a month old!
<3 Aunt Kel

Dear original Boy,
We haven't talked in almost two years.
Well, until the other day, that is.
I'm glad you had the guts to talk to me because even though I've thought about it, I never had the guts to contact you...or maybe you didn't need guts and you're just brave.
Anyway, my brain has lots of unanswered questions about you.
I'm not sure what to make of this situation.
Sincerely, confused but happy

Dear Best Friend/Former Best Friend/Friend/I Don't Know What to Call You,
Normally I'd be asleep, I think, but I really appreciated the "Random 1 AM text" the other night.
It was just what I needed.
Sometimes I miss what our friendship used to be, but I think we're both happy with our current life circumstances.
I also miss our midnight McDonalds runs and seeing Petsmart makes me long for the past sometimes.
Love, Kel

Dear Ethics, HR, and Marketing boys,
You three have been my saving grace this school year.
I seriously don't know how I would have survived without you.
From working on group projects to venting about the various classes we share, you keep my head on straight and make sure I'm doing okay.
Sincerely, your favorite gal pal {or so I'd like to think}

Dear mish,
You get home in less than six months.
That's weird.  So much has changed.
Yet, so much hasn't.
Hopefully we'll still be friends when you come home.
Kel

Dear Boy Previously Mentioned Somewhere on This List,
I think you're pretty great.
I'd like to continue to get to know you.
In the words of T. Swift, "I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now."
<3 me.

Dear Self,
You are seriously the most awkward person I know sometimes.

focus on the happy

1 2 3 4 or find all here

Attitude is a funny thing.  Depending what yours is like, it can make or break a situation.  I'm not always overflowing with optimism, so sometimes I have to remind myself of the good things in life.

I could be upset that school is starting and it's my senior year, that I'm in an apartment complex where I know next to no one, and that the majority of my friends are getting married, going on missions, or just not in Logan.

However, everything can be looked at with a different light.  It just depends on my attitude.  I can be *excited* that I only have three more semesters left of school {still working on that excitement though...}.  I can be grateful for the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends and appreciate the ones who are still in Logan with me.  I can be happy that my friends are doing great things with their lives and grateful that we all have our own timetables.

I had actually started writing this last night, but I've learned you have to let real life take priority.  Why would you want to replace free food, a free movie, and getting to know some pretty cool new people with the Internet?  Beats me.

Seize opportunities when they come.  Focus on the happy.  Life will be so much more enjoyable if you do.

dear boys #4

dear mr. adorable,
I will probably never see you again...which is unfortunate.
You were mighty attractive, super nice, and in love.
I hope you were able to find your girl and make things right.
Thanks for reminding me there are still nice guys my age.
sincerely, girl behind the counter

dear gramps,
Honestly, I'm more sad about you being in that big house by yourself than Grandma being gone.
Although it will take some time to adjust, we know she's happy where she is.
love, your favorite youngest granddaughter

dear friend formerly known as best,
I'm not sure things can go back to what they used to be.
And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that.  Hopefully, you will be too.
sincerely, me

dear teenage boy,
I'm not sure if I should be flattered or awkwarded out.
sincerely, i'll-take-it-as-a-compliment

dear mish,
Um...okay, this is more of a note-to-self, but....
You are now on the downhill slope.
Thanks for always being a good pal.
heart, kell

dear Boy,
I don't know why you've been coming to mind lately.
I haven't talked to you in ages and feel kind of odd if I just start out of the blue.
*insert jumbled thoughts here*
Anyway, I hope you're doing okay.
sincerely, that-one-awkward-girl

attitude of gratitude {days 9-19}

I'm super behind with this project...but here's the next section anyway.  {click here for part 1}

9 - friends - I'm grateful for all my friends, no matter the length of the friendship.  They have gotten me through the good and the bad times and have shaped much of who I have become.  They teach me things I never knew about myself.  They keep my thoroughly entertained.  I love them.

10 - indoor plumbing - Who honestly wants to squat over a hole in the backyard?  Or run outside to an outhouse?  Especially in the middle of winter.  No thank you.  Whoever invented toilet paper?  Genius.  Also, never having to share bath water with siblings?  Awesomeness.  I like showers.

11 - government and military - I am so blessed to live in a place where I am free to choose what to do with my life, have guaranteed rights and liberties, and the opportunity to have a say in how our country is run (aka the right to vote).  I grateful for those who sacrifice their time, and even their life, to serve this country and its citizens to protect their freedoms.

12 - cell phones - I complain about how much I hate my phone often-- how slow it is, functions it doesn't have, and just how crappy it is in general.  But really, it does so much for me.  I take pictures on it more than I do with my real camera.  It helps me to keep in touch with family and friends through phone calls, texting, and social media apps.  It prevents me from getting completely lost with navigation and answers stupid questions with Google.

13 - ducks {and geese} - Ducks are pretty much the greatest animal on the planet.  They are definitely in my top three favorite animals.  For some reason, they make me unexplainably happy.  I haven't been infatuated with them as much this school year, but I still think they're pretty awesome.

14 - zumba - So if you know me, like, at all, you know growing up I was not athletic at all.  I hated sports.  I hated gym.  Being athletic was NOT my forte.  Then, one of the summers after high school, I decided to give AquaZumba a shot.  My mom and her friends (who are pretty much my second and third moms) were doing it...so if middle-aged moms could do it, a nineteen year old could, right?  Right!  I fell in love.  The next fall I signed up for a normal Zumba class for school and the love has continued.  Who knew exercising could be fun?

15 - shameless self-photos - If somebody was to look through the pictures on my phone, they would probably tell me the amount of pictures I take of myself is obscene.  Honestly, I just get bored....so this occasionally provides a form of entertainment.

clothes AND shameless self-portraits....embarrassing eh?

16 - clothes - Granted, a small percentage of the population could probably walk around without clothes and nobody would complain...but for the majority clothing is a good great thing.  Clothes cover up some of the scars, flaws, and imperfections I don't wish to share with the world.  It allows me to express myself.  I definitely am not a pro at throwing outfits together, but knowing how I used to dress, I can say I am significantly better at it.

17 - Aggie Athletics - I don't care if you have a card proclaiming you are a "True Aggie" because you kissed somebody on the A at midnight the night of a full moon.  You are NOT a True Aggie if you do not support Aggie sports.  Last Saturday some of my roommates and I sat in the Spectrum for over six hours watching the football and basketball games.  The football game was crazy.  I'll admit, I got worried.  I lost hope even. The last half we weren't doing so hot, so how could we win?  Whelp, we went into overtime, and guess what?  The Aggies pulled through, won, and now are ranked #25.  Basketball did not disappoint either.  I love screaming and cheering on my Aggies.

18 - parents who love each other - It's often easy to take something like this for granted.  It's just life to me.  But then life sinks in and I see friends whose parents are divorced.  Or have friends say they think their parents should divorce.  As a kid, I know I played out the scenario of "which parent would you live with if they got divorced?" in my head (did other people do that too? or was I just a weird kid?), but ultimately, I knew I would never have to choose.  Ever.  I was certain.  I always knew my parents loved each other.  I still do.  And I hope that one day, I'll be able to have a forever marriage like theirs.

19 - creativity - My creativity lacks a lot of times.  But I'm thankful for those who are creative...and even more thankful for those who share their creativity on the internet.  Because, then it allows others, such as my only-semi-creative-self, to get ideas and do awesome things.  Pinterest has allowed for new crafts ideas galore.  Every once in a while, I do create something with my own imagination, but, by golly, others have such nifty ideas!

happiness is...

happiness is....

• pretty autumn trees and leaves dotting the earth

• holding hands with a cute boy
• pumpkin chocolate chip cookies
• Diet Coke.  especially if it's giant.

• clean bedrooms
• spending time with family
• new music
• Chick-Fil-A

• awesome coworkers
• amusement parks
• finally completing an outfit how i imagined it
• peacocks at dinner

• playing with my sister's puppies
• an unexpected letter from a missionary
• hot chocolate on a chilly day

happiness is life.

dear boys #2

seriously this is only #2?  i must write so many of these in my head.  anyway...

dear best friend,

it was good hearing your voice yesterday.

it's been awhile.

<3, me

dear boy,

ha.  you like me.
weird.

sincerely, baffled

dear mish,

i know you're doing great things,

but my mailbox is hungry.

love, kel

dear frank,
thanks for letting me rock your accounting test.
it made me feel pretty great.  and i think you're pretty great.
sincerely, the student who smokes pot {aka uses a calculator}

dear asian roommate,

you made me unwillingly swear to do something by shoving a Bible to my face?

and took my laughter as agreement?

you're crazy.  but you make me laugh, so therefore i love you.

sincerely, maybe i actually have to do it now...

dear bedroom,

you're clean?!  how is this possible?

i'm glad we could get reacquainted.

you look quite nice and clean up rather well.

sincerely, now my roommate won't hate me.

dear toenail,
why do we even have you in the first place?
seriously though.
anyway, i don't think it's appropriate for you to be chillin' in a not-attached-to-my-toe manner.
not cool.
sincerely, that really hurt/never-volunteer-to-clean-the-church-with-your-parents-again

Dear Boys #1

dear cr8on,

you never fail to make me laugh
and i'm glad to see you're doing well.
good luck! i'll see you in two...and in the meantime i'll look forward to your letters :)

love, kelly


dear terrance,

i miss cuddling with you whilst watching movies.
you were soft, squishy, and would probably have razor sharp teeth if they were real

love, the pillow pet stealer


dear best friend,

can terrance and sexy rex have a play-date?

love, me


dear non-creeper,

i wish i could have said yes.  like really.
hopefully next time!

love, kelly


dear creepers,

please stay away.
i would sincerely appreciate it :)

love, me


dear one direction,

originally i refused to listen to you.
but then katie and janie changed my ways...and i actually like you.

love, me


dear elise,

you're not a boy, but you sure were fun to meet!

love, kelly

things will never be the same

During my last month in Logan, I thought to myself about how much I didn't want to leave.  One thought that often crossed my mind was "things are never going to be the same."  I don't know why I thought that so often, but I knew deep down it was true.

As the school year was ending, I knew some really great things were coming to an end.  No more watching silly TV shows or random movies on Netflix with my best friends.  Midnight trips to eat McDonald's hamburgers in Petsmart's parking lot and talking about life were over.  Walking 50 steps or less and being in my best friend's living room was no longer going to be a reality.

And I knew the happiest school year of my life was soon to be over.  Fall semester, overall, was good.  Especially comparing it to my freshman year, it was wonderful.  And then, somehow, spring semester was even better.  And I became worried that nothing would be able to top this school year.

But then I realized, I don't need to be comparing the years to each other.   Sure, there are going to be some experiences that are greater than others, but I won't be appreciating the greatness of the moment if I'm trying to compare it to something else that's completely different.

And I've already learned that things are going to be much different than I even imagined last April.  And although they're some major changes, most sound like they'll be good in the long run.  And for the ones I'm unsure about...well...I can only hope for the best.

what i've been up to - life dump

Honestly, I don't know what I've been up to lately.

I remember once upon a time I was going to post about my spring break adventures.  And then I never did. 

So let's back track to March.

Creighton, Kevin, and I got sushi.  Delish.

 And we went on an epic zoo adventure.

And I went out to three movies that week:  This Means War, Chronicle, and The Lorax.  I had heard mixed things about the Lorax, but I loved it.  And we {Angie, Kevin, Creighton, and I} went up to North Salt Lake and just ended up staring at the city.  I love city lights :)  The rest of the week was made up of yoga, Killer Bunnies, and a slurpee run with a talk on the Boulevard.

The next week consisted of Humans vs Zombies.  After half-heartedly signing up, I ended up having a lot of fun.  It looks like the stupidest game...but if you allow yourself, you will have good time! :)

Some of the roommates and I decided to go to Festival of Colors.  We'll let pictures do the talking.

That same weekend we saw the Hunger Games.  Love, love, LOVE that movie :)

One day I decided to have a "Make Kelly Happy Day" and did so by dressing up adorably.  Then instead of going to class as I had planned, I decided to ditch.  I ended up spending two hours going to the bank and finding flowers and a vase.  Honestly all the flowers sucked.  That is, until I found tulips at Maceys.  Tulips are pretty.  I kind of have a thing for them.

Probably this whole past month I've been under a ton of stress.  Or maybe anxiety.  Either way, it was no bueno.  I would wake up each morning feeling so sick.  Sometimes I just let the big things...and even more so, the little things...take a toll on me.  

On one of the bad days Kevin surprised me with flowers.  They're super pretty :)

Thankfully I'm feeling a lot better lately.  I think much of the stress has subsided, although I know priesthood blessings and a trip to the temple were helpful too.

I've seen and fed plenty of ducks lately too!!!!

Oh and I have not seen my cute duck couple in Logan since I have seen them in Bountiful...I think they must have gotten lost.

We also went on a...not-hike up Logan Canyon.  It was more of a walk.  We went back later that night and had a fire with s'mores

Odds and ends:

considering I thought I was going to fail that test...I think an 89 is super awesome :)

Oh and I found out that my English essay was one of the top in my class.  I get extra credit because of it and Thursday I'll get some award at our assembly/ceremony/whatever it is of all the English 2010 classes at that time.  It felt pretty awesome being told that my essay was one of the top just because I know what went into writing it.  There was a lot of effort behind it...and even more heart.

Tonight I went to Kevin's choir concert:

I listened most of the time!  I lost focus in the middle though...

And this is my attempt at a sneaky photo of the cute old couple next to me.  It was a fail though.  But I decided I want to grow up and be like them.  They were cute and holding hands and just being adorable.

Sorry it's kind of a picture dump and awful writing...but sometimes...okay a lot of times that's just what happens.  It feels nice being as caught up as I'm going to get...although I've missed a lot of details, but that's okay with me.

thoughts

Sometimes the brain is a funny thing.  It's interesting to realize what it allows itself to think.  Especially when you know what it's thinking or trying to tell you isn't the truth.

Somehow I always try to convince myself that I'm to blame when bad things happen.  But the thing is, I know I'm really not the cause and really I had no control over it.  Yet for some reason my brain tries to tell me: "if you would have done *this* better" or "you could have been a better example" or "because you said/did *this* it led them to do *this*".  Or any other variation.

It's awful.

Last night I decided I just needed to get out of my house and take a drive.  Except gas is super expensive so I decided to find a place to park.  

I went and parked on the hill next to the Logan Temple

And while there, I just let myself sob.  And swear.  They weren't innocent little hells and damns either.  Honestly, such words have no business even coming out of my mouth, especially parked where I was.  Sometimes life just fails at being awesome.  But what gave me the most comfort was remembering what was said in sacrament meeting on Sunday.  It was the only meeting I went to because face it...every once in a while I just can't handle three hour church.  It was fast and testimony meeting and many people bore their testimony about the atonement and the Savior.  It was comforting to know that Christ knows how I felt and that I wasn't completely alone.

This morning I had a lovely chat with Kylee.  She's pretty dang great.  I probably say that a lot about her...but it's true.  She forces me to talk and spill whatever I'm thinking, even when I don't want to share, and overall, it's beneficial in the long run.  Somehow I always manage to let my guard down when I'm around her and just cry and talk.  I always feel so stupid...but somehow around her it's okay.  I guess even around a bunch of strangers in the Hub too.  They probably wonder why the crazy girl in the booth is shedding tears haha.  Oh well.  It makes life somewhat better.

Life has just been a crazy whirlwind lately.  I'm not really sure what to think of it at the moment.  It's hard when you just stop caring and don't know what to do anymore.  But somehow you just get through it.

spending, bowling, and thoughts

So I've been on a bit of a spending spree lately.  It may not be the best thing for the bank account...but it's becoming quite great for the closet.  I'm waiting on a hoodie I bought off of Etsy that I decided I would be way too sad if someone else bought it.  I also hit up Old Navy and bought two shirts and three pairs of skinny jeans in the past week.  And I want to go buy one more pair.  These are probably some of the most comfortable pants I've worn {that are socially appropriate :) } and I get compliments to boot.  But seriously.  I have to buy the pink ones.  I neeeed them.

I have green pants! :)  

And last night I went bowling with some work peeps.  They're really such a fun group of people.  I work twice again this week.  Thankfully I'm already home for spring break so I don't have to drive back and forth to Logan.  So glad I only have to deal with about a month of the driving shenanigans.

It's been a contemplative Sunday with much to think about.  Thankfully I have friends who let me ramble all my random and not-so-random thoughts to them.

p.s.  I'm super glad last week is finally over.  It was crazy busy, which wouldn't be too bad if I enjoyed more of what it was filled with...but essays, homework, and stress just don't float my boat.

Here's hoping for a fabulous week for us all! :)

saturday night

It's a Saturday night.  And I'm home alone.

Not that I'm complaining.  Okay, I am a little bit.

Dumb work, home, and boys.  Stop stealing my friends.

My Friday night almost met the same fate.  But it was saved by Kylee and Janie!
I really need to remember to carry a camera around with me more.  Or at least take phone pictures.  Something!

camping last summer

Sometimes in college you forget you can have sleepovers....but last night we remembered that little fun fact!  So I grab my blankets, Augustus the pillow pet, and Richard the duck and carry them across the street and through a parking lot and a half.  The night consists of:

• Nearly walking into the wrong apartment {Kylee told me the wrong neighbors' apartment. oops!}
• Kylee telling/trying to teach Janie and I how to catch boys
• Semi-awkward questions
• Lots of laughter
• Pizza eating, soda drinking, muddy buddy scarfing
• Breaking Dawn part 1
• Drifting off to sleep on the plaid couch that reminds me of this one

old plaid couch...and oscar :)

I love these girls a lot - they really are tons of fun and I know I can be 100% myself around them.  I can talk to them about so much and I feel like they understand my mind a lot better than most people.  As long as everything works out they should be my roommates for next year.  We just need to have a chat with a gal named Mallory...and possibly bribe her :)

Oh!  And I had other things that made my Friday!

I was doing homework and was in a rather grumpy mood.  I clicked on a link...which I guess didn't exist or something because it redirected me to this:

I laughed for quite a while.  I wonder how many people actually e-mail him.

And then Shayna checked the mail and I had a letter!  There's this funny German guy who posts videos on YouTube and he said if you e-mailed him your address he would send you stickers.  Well I did it...but totally forgot about it.  So it was a nice little surprise when I had an envelope with my name on it.

I got 4 stickers and a postcard :)  Check him out here.  {some of my favorites here, here, here, and here}  Why yes, he is an interesting fellow...but he entertains me :)

I hope y'all are having a fabulous weekend!

valentines day

Free hugs?  I wonder whose are better

some of the supplies :)

owl apron!

Funfetti, Chocolate, and Better Than Sex cupcakes
There are 5 different types of sprinkles plus Heath.  I love sprinkles :)

Valentine's present.  Love it!

Monday night I got a valentine present.  I wasn't expecting it...but it's pretty much the greatest thing ever.  This is Richard the Duck and an Eric Carle duck book.  Totally fits me.  Love it.

Then on Valentines Day I wake up (like any normal day, right?).  Except I have a huge smile on my face.  I have issues waking up (maybe I'll talk about that later) and so I laid in bed for like an hour feeling giddy knowing what was in store for me the rest of the day.  I woke up next to a duck.  And I knew I was making cupcakes which was the main reason for my giddyness.

I love buying cupcake liners and sprinkles.  I have a nice little collection.  It is a little embarrassing and quite ridiculous.  I ended up making over 80 cupcakes to give out as my valentines which were well received :)

Later that night, Craig, Creighton, Kevin, and I all got together and ate Cafe Rio which was super delicious.  Kev and I watched the newest episode of 30 Rock and everyone {Kevin, Creighton, Tyler, Katie, and Scott, and me} watched Crazy, Stupid, Love.  I loved it and thought it was pretty funny.  Some of the others found it awkward though.  I think know I thrive off of awkward situations :)

The day had its ups and downs -- I won't bore you with the details...but all in all it was a great day!

enough

YOU are enough

little lovelies

This weekend has been full of wonderful little things!

Friday night Shayna, Janie, and Tyler Savage got together and went to a choir concert put on by the school to support some of our friends.

This concert was so much fun!  The different choirs sounded so great and I wanted to sing along to just about every song.  I restrained myself for the most part...but I will admit Janie and I couldn't stay quiet for the entire time.  Styx, Journey, Heart - it had it all!

Then later that night I went over to Kevin's and watched a movie with some of our neighbors.  Never watch The Others.  I thought it was stupid and super boring.

This morning Savage invited us over to his house for breakfast.  We ate totally delicious crepes!

Totally awful picture...but it doesn't mean it was any less yummy :)

And then the spending began.  I've spent a ridiculous amount of money today.

The greatest chunk went when I filled out and signed these lovely papers.  Totally worth it though.  Now I have a place to live next fall!  I do like where I live this year...but this new place has many more perks for pretty much the same price.  Can you say STORAGE?!  I have next to no storage where I'm currently living, so this will be a definite plus.  And the people there are great!  So much fun.  My old roommates from last year will all be near.

Then Katie and I decided we needed to go shopping.  We first hit Violet Hill.

I was able to find a darling necklace that's perfect for Valentine's Day...or just any day.  And this cardigan is super comfy.  I love the grey and green stripes.  And the detailing with the black, especially the pocket.  And...robot earrings!  The picture isn't super clear...but they are quite adorable :)

A trip to the grocery store and gas station later we finally made it home.

After lunch and cleaning I learned my parents made it safely home from Mexico and heard they had a blast.  I'm so jealous.  It sounds like it would be a lot of fun.  I guess that's what I'll hopefully get to do once I'm "old" and married with all the kids moved out.

Only halfway through the weekend....but I'm sure with a surprise party and church it will shape up to be pretty fabulous! It's much more exciting than the usual just watch movies weekends at least :)