plans

One thing I like to have is a plan...or at least a general idea of what I'm doing/what's going on.
It's one of the reasons I struggled with being undeclared until I was a junior.  I felt like I had no plan, no direction, and no idea where I was going.  And then, once I figured out it was supposed to be business, life was well in that area.

Now I've hit another bump in life where I feel like I have no plan.  I don't know where I'm going.  I don't know what I'm doing.  As soon as I feel like I'm making decisions, I change my mind, start second guessing myself, or it just plain falls through, which I find the most frustrating part of all.

And I'm to the point I'm not sure what to do, except to have faith that God has a plan for me, and that His plan is the best.  It means that I still have to keep searching.  Everything's not going to fall into place without any effort.  But I guess I'm going to have to develop greater patience too.

Anyway...here is some happiness from Pinterest :)

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{I didn't intentionally put so many quotes from church leaders...but what can I say?  They're pretty wise :) }

killer

The past two weeks have been killer.  Not as in killer awesome, but as in killer "I want to die."

Okay.  Not really.  Not that far anyway.

Just lots of little things...and something that seemed like a big thing to me...from last week just added up.  They made me stressed.  They made me tired.  They made me worried.  They made me irritated.  They made me...ugh.

And then...it became time to prep for finals.  With no time to recover.  And I studied.  And studied.  And studied.  And took a test.  And got a 77.  Which is AWFUL in my book.  But I also knew there were concepts I didn't understand...and wouldn't understand no matter how much I studied them.  So I feel okay with that.  And then I took my open note/open book test and got a 96(?) which is just grand!

Then I went home to Bountiful.  And studied.  And did a job shadow.  And studied some more.  Then drove back to Logan.  (Why I chose rush hour....who knows?)  And Katie and I exchanged recaps of our day.  And now I should be studying.  But I'm not.  Not yet anyway.  But I probably shall.

Then I'll sleep.  But not long enough.  Never long enough.  Not until Friday am I allowed to do that.  And I don't think I'll ever be able to catch up...but I can try.  And I'll wake up.  Maybe study some more.  And take my final final.  And yes.  I did just say final final.  Or if that's too complicated for you...last test.  But final final is more fun to say :)

And then I'll write my paper about my job shadow.  Which shouldn't be difficult.  I love easy projects.  2-3 pages double spaced.  Easy.

And then I'm free.  Free to take me and Katie home.  Free for three weeks.  Or three and a half I believe.  The half totally counts.  It makes such a big difference.

No homework.  No tests.  Nothing I'm supposed to read.  Nothing I'm supposed to do.

Actually I'm sure there will be plenty I'm supposed to do...but nothing school related! :)

Although the freedom will be short-lived, it will be greatly appreciated.

And here's a picture of narwhals.  Just because I can.

source

liberated

As of now I feel liberated.

The last homework assignment was just submitted.

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This is how I feel.  It's lovely.

Now just to study for my computer science final Monday.  And MIS on Thursday.
And take my Lifespan Development test.  But that one should be easy.
A job shadow on Wednesday.
But it's a Friday night.  And I'm going to take a mental break.
School appears manageable.  People I worry about seem to be doing better.
Life is good.

stress

sometimes i get
stressed.
worried.
anxious.

yep.  all of the above.
even to the point if people ask if i'm okay because i'm acting different.
ugh.
life.