goals and motivation

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Lately I've been thinking a lot about motivation.  I believe that everyone has a core motivator-- a reason that explains most, if not all the decisions they make in life, whether or not they may make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.

Some of the motivators I can think of off the top of my head include:  money and wealth, knowledge, fun, love and kindness, recognition and power.

Even though someone may be a top executive in their company, their reasoning for why they choose to hold that position is sure to vary.  John may love seeing his bank account increase.   Sally may purely love working in the industry -- she doesn't necessarily need the money, but she enjoys working.  Maybe another exec loves having CEO or CFO as part of their title.  Maybe he or she gets joy watching subordinates squirm and work extra hard as they walk into a room {if this is you, everyone probably hates you}.  Others do it because they have loved ones they wish to take care of and provide the best for.  Honestly, the list could go on and on.

Maybe I've been thinking about this more because I've been talking to this kid whose personal motivator is SO different than mine.  I admire him, but some of his main goals are things that take a back burner in my life.  I think Elise hit the nail right on the head when she said "I am different. I want different things, I react different, and I am not pursuing the same men {or goals} as them. And even if I was, it would be a completely different situation. What worked for their situation, worked for their situation. Are you understanding what I mean by there are no rules?"

That's one of the things I love so much.  We are all DIFFERENT!  Sometimes I worry that my goals in life are insignificant, that they don't amount to much.  And that's just inside my own head.  And then when people tell me their big dreams for the future and how they plan on achieving them, {depending on the day} it seems to just increase the feelings of insignificance for my own.

Just because I don't dream of having a 7+ digit bank account or some BIG title next to my name doesn't mean that my goals are unimportant.  If we were all striving for the same things, the world would have a lot of failures.  And the funny thing is, I can't think of an instance where someone has told me the things I want to do in life are stupid {granted, it's not something I talk about often, or with random people...}  Really, the person who sets my biggest limitations and is the source of all the insecurities is myself.

It's important to remember you don't have to be the "best," you just have to be "good enough."  Only one person can be the best, while many people can be really great.  Just be the best YOU can be and the rest will take care of itself.

plans

One thing I like to have is a plan...or at least a general idea of what I'm doing/what's going on.
It's one of the reasons I struggled with being undeclared until I was a junior.  I felt like I had no plan, no direction, and no idea where I was going.  And then, once I figured out it was supposed to be business, life was well in that area.

Now I've hit another bump in life where I feel like I have no plan.  I don't know where I'm going.  I don't know what I'm doing.  As soon as I feel like I'm making decisions, I change my mind, start second guessing myself, or it just plain falls through, which I find the most frustrating part of all.

And I'm to the point I'm not sure what to do, except to have faith that God has a plan for me, and that His plan is the best.  It means that I still have to keep searching.  Everything's not going to fall into place without any effort.  But I guess I'm going to have to develop greater patience too.

Anyway...here is some happiness from Pinterest :)

Source: imgfave.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: spirituallythinking.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: petvideostoday.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: lollyjaneboutique.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: angelamuir.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: blogginwithbobbi.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

{I didn't intentionally put so many quotes from church leaders...but what can I say?  They're pretty wise :) }

attitude of gratitude {days 9-19}

I'm super behind with this project...but here's the next section anyway.  {click here for part 1}

9 - friends - I'm grateful for all my friends, no matter the length of the friendship.  They have gotten me through the good and the bad times and have shaped much of who I have become.  They teach me things I never knew about myself.  They keep my thoroughly entertained.  I love them.

10 - indoor plumbing - Who honestly wants to squat over a hole in the backyard?  Or run outside to an outhouse?  Especially in the middle of winter.  No thank you.  Whoever invented toilet paper?  Genius.  Also, never having to share bath water with siblings?  Awesomeness.  I like showers.

11 - government and military - I am so blessed to live in a place where I am free to choose what to do with my life, have guaranteed rights and liberties, and the opportunity to have a say in how our country is run (aka the right to vote).  I grateful for those who sacrifice their time, and even their life, to serve this country and its citizens to protect their freedoms.

12 - cell phones - I complain about how much I hate my phone often-- how slow it is, functions it doesn't have, and just how crappy it is in general.  But really, it does so much for me.  I take pictures on it more than I do with my real camera.  It helps me to keep in touch with family and friends through phone calls, texting, and social media apps.  It prevents me from getting completely lost with navigation and answers stupid questions with Google.

13 - ducks {and geese} - Ducks are pretty much the greatest animal on the planet.  They are definitely in my top three favorite animals.  For some reason, they make me unexplainably happy.  I haven't been infatuated with them as much this school year, but I still think they're pretty awesome.

14 - zumba - So if you know me, like, at all, you know growing up I was not athletic at all.  I hated sports.  I hated gym.  Being athletic was NOT my forte.  Then, one of the summers after high school, I decided to give AquaZumba a shot.  My mom and her friends (who are pretty much my second and third moms) were doing it...so if middle-aged moms could do it, a nineteen year old could, right?  Right!  I fell in love.  The next fall I signed up for a normal Zumba class for school and the love has continued.  Who knew exercising could be fun?

15 - shameless self-photos - If somebody was to look through the pictures on my phone, they would probably tell me the amount of pictures I take of myself is obscene.  Honestly, I just get bored....so this occasionally provides a form of entertainment.

clothes AND shameless self-portraits....embarrassing eh?

16 - clothes - Granted, a small percentage of the population could probably walk around without clothes and nobody would complain...but for the majority clothing is a good great thing.  Clothes cover up some of the scars, flaws, and imperfections I don't wish to share with the world.  It allows me to express myself.  I definitely am not a pro at throwing outfits together, but knowing how I used to dress, I can say I am significantly better at it.

17 - Aggie Athletics - I don't care if you have a card proclaiming you are a "True Aggie" because you kissed somebody on the A at midnight the night of a full moon.  You are NOT a True Aggie if you do not support Aggie sports.  Last Saturday some of my roommates and I sat in the Spectrum for over six hours watching the football and basketball games.  The football game was crazy.  I'll admit, I got worried.  I lost hope even. The last half we weren't doing so hot, so how could we win?  Whelp, we went into overtime, and guess what?  The Aggies pulled through, won, and now are ranked #25.  Basketball did not disappoint either.  I love screaming and cheering on my Aggies.

18 - parents who love each other - It's often easy to take something like this for granted.  It's just life to me.  But then life sinks in and I see friends whose parents are divorced.  Or have friends say they think their parents should divorce.  As a kid, I know I played out the scenario of "which parent would you live with if they got divorced?" in my head (did other people do that too? or was I just a weird kid?), but ultimately, I knew I would never have to choose.  Ever.  I was certain.  I always knew my parents loved each other.  I still do.  And I hope that one day, I'll be able to have a forever marriage like theirs.

19 - creativity - My creativity lacks a lot of times.  But I'm thankful for those who are creative...and even more thankful for those who share their creativity on the internet.  Because, then it allows others, such as my only-semi-creative-self, to get ideas and do awesome things.  Pinterest has allowed for new crafts ideas galore.  Every once in a while, I do create something with my own imagination, but, by golly, others have such nifty ideas!

major decisions

Over the summer I finally decided what I want to do with my life.

Okay.  False.  I still have no idea what I want to do with life...but I at least was able to come to a decision as to what major to declare.  It was something I had struggled with for a long time.  All growing up, junior high and high school counselors would look at my grades and say, "You can be anything you want to be!" "With grades like those, you will succeed in any direction you choose to take!"

Well...as an indecisive person that was not news I loved hearing.  I did like hearing I was "smart," but I hated the lack of direction.  I liked and disliked everything at the same time.  I didn't really have a passion for any particular subject that screamed to me, "Go this way!  Pick me!"

So once I got to college I remained undeclared.  I took a variety of classes- psychology, chemistry, Spanish, English, computer science, sociology, and so much more.  There was only one area that I noticed a pattern in the classes I took.  I kept taking classes from the FCHD (family, consumer, and human development) department.  I loved those classes.  I still do.  Classes about families, marriages, development of the human body, finances...they were all my favorites.  I considered taking a similar route to these courses and become a FCSE (family and consumer science education) major.  I thought it could be super cool to be a junior high or high school teacher and teach the "fun" classes like foods, sewing, and interior design...and even the "not fun" ones like financial literacy.  I found something I liked.  It should be simple enough to declare my major, right?

Wrong.  Something about it just never felt "right" to declare.  I didn't know how to use it to help me in the workforce, except becoming a teacher.  I can see all the applicable ways in my personal life...but professionally I felt very limited.  It confused and frustrated me.  I couldn't seem to find anything that I felt okay about pursuing.

And as more and more time passed me by, the more it stressed me out and worried me.  The topic was a pretty sensitive one at the time.  Any time anyone would bring the subject of my major up (and was either really close to me personally...or just really pressed it)  I would always end up with tears in my eyes.  Thoughts would always come: "Why can't I figure out what I want to do with my life?"  "Why can everyone else come to a decision, but I can't?"  "Why does this not feel 'right' for me...yet it's 'right' for bunches of other people?"  "I'm just wasting my time in school.  I should just drop out.  Except that would be stupid.  My parents would kill me...and I wouldn't be doing anything better with my time."  "What's wrong with me?"

This summer my mom pointed out to me what's been sitting in front of my face for the longest time.  Seriously.  The.  Longest. Time.  It's something I've spent a good chunk {aka 6 years} of my life doing.

"You love your job.  Why don't you declare something that relates?"

I thought about it.  And it was obvious....and I had been completely oblivious to it the whole time.

With the help of my mom, I decided Human Resources would be an awesome fit for my life.  My job already entailed some aspects of it, and the other ones seemed like stuff I'd be able to handle.

Step 1:  Call Utah State's Advising Center and set up an appointment.  Knowing I didn't have the pre-requisites done, I made it with an "undeclared, business" adviser.

Step 2:  Drive to Logan with Eryka.  Park.  Go to the TSC and meet with said adviser.

Step 3:  Walk into her office.  Right off the bat she says, "So, the note about your appointment says you're interested in majoring in Human Resources.  We actually stopped offering that major for bachelor's degrees" and listed multiple reasons why.  "Here are other business degrees you could major in, and then have HR as your minor.  Oh.  And really you don't want to be meeting with me, you want to set up an appointment to meet with a business adviser and officially declare a major."  Me:  "What?  I don't have the pre-reqs done."  Adviser: "If your GPA is above *this level* (3.95 maybe?)  you can declare earlier.  You have a 3.96."  Yada yada yada...I leave her office.

Step 4:  Find Eryka.  Say "Sorry...I'm not done yet.  UGH."  And hurry my behind over to the business building.  We wander for a minute until we can find their advisement office.  I patiently stand in front of the counter while Office Lady is on the phone...and wait and wait.  Until somebody else notices me and asks how she can help me.  "Oh.  You want to talk to Paige.  She's out of town until next week."  Totally not music to my ears.  "But, here...I can declare your major for you."

So...I'm getting a BS in BA.  I wish that stood for a B.S. degree in Bad A**-ery...but unfortunately it doesn't.  Here's to a Bachelors of Science in Business Administration.  Totally not as cool.

Step 5:  Go eat lunch with Eryka and Elise.  Then check out Violet Hill Boutique's new digs in the mall.  You wouldn't think this is such a necessary step...but it is.

The next week I made another appointment to talk to a *real* adviser and got my life sorted out.  I didn't feel like she helped me a whole lot...but it's still good to talk to someone who knows what they're talking about.  I thought we'd get my schedule all hammered out in her office and officially registered for classes.  Instead, she just said "here ya go" with a list of stuff, answered a few questions, but ultimately, didn't do a whole lot that I wouldn't be able to figure out on my own.

I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree, but I know it'll be useful in the long run.  All I know is that, at least for now, it feels "right" and that I actually feel like I'm working toward something.  I also know that I'm not 100% obligated to hold fast to this.  I'm still allowed to change my mind.  I don't have to have all the answers now...but I'm glad I at least have some of them :)

fifteen

Tonight I decided to read part of an old journal I found.  And as I read, I laughed.

Sometimes you just can't help it.  Some entries really were funny.  I'll leave names out so I'm not too incriminating...but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out haha :)

..."S found out there was hair on the back of her leg like a couple weeks ago.  Maybe a week.  I don't know.  I think it's K who shaves her knee pits. (I learned how to shave in fourth grade.  Steph showed me!) Then we started talking about shaving our armpits.  S's like 'You grow hair in your armpits?!?' We're like 'Yeah.'  Then one of us mentioned one of our armpits was retarded and didn't grow hair."

This entry was even complete with pictures.

hair on the back of the leg :)

armpits.  notice the one of the right has only one hairy pit haha :)

I laughed at the "drama" fifteen year olds face.  With a dozen kids or so kids in my ward/neighborhood my age, there was bound to be some.

I read the gratitude of a fifteen year old for a friend: "I'm just glad I have a friend who likes me and is willing to do stuff with me.  I feel bad that she calls me a lot more than I call her.  I think it's because I've been used to being rejected for so many years that I forget how to be social."  {Don't get me wrong.  I had friends.  Kind of.  Angie moving in improved things a whole lot though}

I read the lessons I learned after a friend's mom had died: don't hold grudges, love everyone with everything I've got, remind people that I love them, be thankful to Heavenly Father for all the things I take for granted, etc. etc.  {I'm still grateful I haven't had to personally deal with this trial and hope I won't have to for years and years....and even more years to come.  According to my Marriage and Family class my parents don't even classify as "young-old" so therefore I vote they need to stick around until they're at least "old-old"}

I found one entry I wish I could have let 18 year old me read {or maybe have 15 year old me lecture 18 year old me}

And another where I wish I could go and talk to the girl who wrote it.  Some of what she wrote was true.  Some was completely false.  However, she was convinced it was all true.  And it took years to realize that that was not the case.

It's funny to see how life shapes us and where we end up.  I can only imagine what 25 year old me is going to want to tell the current me.  I have some ideas what it will be about...I just wish I knew what she'd say to answer all my problems!  Ha!  Too bad life doesn't work that way.

eleven things

Janie at Falling up the Stairs tagged me in her eleven things post.  Just so you know she is probably one of the funniest girls you will ever meet, has a great sense of style, and is just plain GORGEOUS!  Like seriously.

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.

1.  Pulling faces makes me look less scary when I don't do my hair and makeup, right?
2.  I hiccup randomly.  And I do it a lot. {one time I counted 57 in a day} My sister is nice - "I'm going to punch you in the throat!"  But really she wouldn't...I think.
3.  I have been punched in the face.
4.  Growing up I was the pickiest eater.  Now I eat real food.
5.  Easter has the best candy, hands down. {Hersheys and Cadbury eggs!}
6.  I say I'm not crafty.  Then I realize I am...a little bit.  But really, I just like easy Pinterest projects.
7.  I hate that I can watch a movie ten times and can't quote any of it, but someone can watch it once and have the whole thing down.
8.  I have done and continue to plan on doing nothing all day.  Actually, does finishing an English essay count?  If so, then I've accomplished at least one thing.  {seriously.  today so far = shower, paper, computer, and figure out work stuff.}  But being sick justifies my lack of accomplishments, right?
9.  This is the start of year number six at my job.
10. I like to speed. I have yet to be pulled over. {knock on wood}
11. I've listened to this song ten thousand times in the past week.  Okay not really, but over 50.  Thanks Pandora for introducing me to the most beautifully sad song of my life.




And now for Janie Jane's questions:

1.  If you could win a shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and why?
Is picking a really expensive store and selling all of it online against the rules?  Actually I think Target is pretty great...but maybe not shopping spree worthy.  How about we imagine I have a house to fill with Pottery Barn.  I think that would work.

2.  What is your favorite memory?
At this point in time it's probably my high school choir trip.  It was super fun, I was super happy, and life was lookin' up.

3.  Edward or Jacob?
Haha really Jane?  If I remember right, I liked Edward in the books better. I've only seen the first movie...so I can't really judge those.  They both suck though, don't they?

4.  What is your dream job?
Honestly I'd be content working part-time somewhere and filling the rest of my time being a mom.

5.  Who was your Jr. High crush?
First junior high crush?  Austin.

6.  What is your least favorite chore and why?
Cleaning the bathtub!  It's just so awful.

7.   If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life which would it be?
Chicken.  Mmm.

8.  What is your favorite smell?
Coconut.  And pleasant smelling men.

9.  If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
I would probably terrorize all my friends who believe in ghosts :)

10. You are on the red carpet, who would you pick for your date?
Hmm. I would say Ryan Gosling.  But James Marsden is a babe too.  I think I would prefer him.

11. Why do you blog?
My freshman year of my roommates started at blog.  I decided to start my own as did Janie.  It makes for an easy way to remember life.  I blog mainly for me...but enjoy sharing it with others too :)

Here are questions if you'd like to play along.  I know many people have already done it.  Or you can feel free to pick one or more and answer in the comments.

1.  If you could pick an animal to turn someone you don't like into, what would it be and why?
2.  What song(s) do you listen to on repeat?
3.  Is pulling faces or smiling for pictures better?
4.  Would you leave your house without officially getting ready for the day?
5.  Beverage of choice?
6.  Do you like socks?  Why or why not?
7.  Would you want to know when the big events are going to happen in your life?
8.  Favorite TV show growing up?
9.  Favorite book or series growing up?
10. Who would you pick to be your fake boyfriend (real or fictional)?
11. What restaurant do you wish would put you on the list of people who receive free food?

Have fun! :)

strangers

This is how I feel about studying.  Ha.  I feel awkward posting pictures of myself when random strangers sit down behind me.  At least I made myself look adorable today :)  Here's hoping all you lovelies have a wonderful, fun-filled, stress-free weekend!

liberated

As of now I feel liberated.

The last homework assignment was just submitted.

Source: noahpinionblog.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

This is how I feel.  It's lovely.

Now just to study for my computer science final Monday.  And MIS on Thursday.
And take my Lifespan Development test.  But that one should be easy.
A job shadow on Wednesday.
But it's a Friday night.  And I'm going to take a mental break.
School appears manageable.  People I worry about seem to be doing better.
Life is good.

stress

sometimes i get
stressed.
worried.
anxious.

yep.  all of the above.
even to the point if people ask if i'm okay because i'm acting different.
ugh.
life.

oh you know...

oh you know...life's not all that exciting around here.

hence the lack of posting.
{warning:  my thoughts are all over the place.  this is completely random...}

it's dead week.  which means no tests....but I have ten thousand assignments.  seriously? come on.

but then it's time to go home for Christmas.  For almost a month.  If I can last that long haha :)
I love being home though {generally}.  Like Thanksgiving?  I gave myself an extended break...ten days total...and still wasn't ready to come back to Logan.

and it's about time for a break mentally.  I like people.  But I like my alone time too.  Or at least chill and do nothing time.  It keeps me sane.

Like the other night.  I drove to Hastings to pick up my present Leasa (aka my Mom #2) brought up for me to give to my roommate Tyler for our roommate Christmas {my real mom lovingly crocheted the edge of the blanket...because she is sweet like that}.  I didn't realize how awful the drive would be.  Five o'clock.  On a Friday.  In "busy" Logan traffic.  In the dark.  In the snow.  With idiots on the road.  I was pretty much scarred for life.  Well...not quite but almost.  I was waiting at a light.  And the lane next to me was emptier than mine...and there was a stupid bicyclist crossing 4th North (super busy, super crazy) not at a light/crosswalk.  Idiot.  He pretty much almost got plowed over by some not car not SUV, something in between thing.  Idiot.  It freaked me out pretty badly.  Then after getting the blanket, I tried to avoid the crazy, busy streets and wind my way back home.  I should have just stuck with heavily traveled streets.  They would have been much easier to drive on.  My drive home stress/anxiety piled on to the "I just almost saw someone get hit by a car" anxiety.

Anyway.  When I got home, no one was there {they all went to play racquetball}.  I whipped up a batch of brownies, making sure to leave enough to enjoy some batter {the best part}, grabbed a blanket, threw in a movie, and curled up on the couch.  Talking to a couple friends...one was understanding and sympathetic...and the other asked me if I was okay, and when they received a negative response, still went on their merry way in the conversation...but that didn't surprise me haha.

my cute little 11x7 i rarely get to use...
why yes...I did cut the middle out of the brownies....

My roommates got home just as "You've Got Mail" was ending.  Somehow we ended up watching Step Up 1 and 2 and another movie that I can't remember.  Except I fell asleep during those three.  4 movies in one night.  Sick haha.  Oh well.

We really haven't been up to much.  Lots and LOTS of movies.  And lovely Christmas with the roommates.

This pretty present was for me!  Apparently Sarah and I "ruined" Christmas because we figured out who was giving presents to who....that's probably really whom...but we know that I don't follow proper English/grammar rules.  They're generally just guidelines.  Anyway.  I was excited.  Because this present was wrapped really pretty.  I felt like my grandma...because I opened it carefully and saved the wrapping paper.  It was peacock!  and sparkly!  Two of my favorite things.  And inside there was a lovely cupcake maker.  I need to try it out.

 But before we have Christmas we had Thanksgiving.  It was like the traditional American Thanksgiving.
It was full of family {not as full as I'd like...missed you Mari and Heather}, delicious food {thanks mom!}, football {thanks pops!}, and shopping!

Through his work we got press passes...which allowed us up in the box...where they fed us food...and down on the sidelines.

Black Friday shopping was fun.  But I didn't go "real" Black Friday shopping this year.  I woke up about 7 and hit my different stops.  I thought it was ridiculous all the stores seemed to open at midnight or before.  I was content with the 4 and 5 am openings.  Those are more fun anyway, but since I knew there probably wouldn't be things to fight over, I slept in. Ish.

Oh.  And the Monday after Thanksgiving I tried to give blood.  Tried being the keyword.

The bag stayed empty...

I hadn't given blood before.  I forgot to hydrate I guess.  They struggled finding a vein.  So they made me go drink a lot.  I ended up drinking a bottle and a half of water and two cans of juice.  Really fast.  I wanted to puke my guts out {I know you wanted to hear that, right?}  So after twenty minutes.  I went back to the expert vein finder.  He poked and he stabbed and finally got it in.  And the trickle was super slow.  He told me it would take 20 {or 30?} minutes to fill the bag.  Either way I knew that was a long time because I saw Shayna fill hers in under 5.  He said "You can call it a day or we can try the other arm."  I called it a day...because they tried looking for a vein in the other arm earlier and found nothing...and I had been there for forever.  But he decided to look anyway.  And apparently he found "a good one."  But he told me the choice was still up to me.  After over two hours....I still called it a day.  I am not a life saver.  Not that day at least.

they had to draw lines on my arm to not lose the vein.
oh and they said that not only are my veins small...they like to move around a lot too 

Oh and here is our lovely friends Christmas tree.  I believe Tyler created it for them.  I was asleep on our living room floor when this occurred.  I'm getting old.  I'm falling asleep early.

We're adorable.  We like to shove ourselves on to one couch instead of sit on the floor.  Then we attempt to watch the Goonies.

OH!  And I found a video of a flash mob.  In Logan.  With my bishop.  It made me giggle.

He's at 1:51 and 1:57 with the USU sweatshirt with the red collar sticking out.

That's pretty much all the randomness on my mind.  I doubt it made sense...but you know.

ray of sunshine

Sometimes, life is stupid.

You come home for a break from school that sounds like it's going to be too long and you're going to get sick of it.  But instead, Sunday arrives and you don't want to go back quite yet.

• Packing up sucks.
• I get the joy of talking to my teacher about the test that I've currently "failed"...but really, it's a technology malfunction.  I just hope she's understanding considering it wasn't even my fault.  I tried.  I think/hope she'll be helpful.
• I have a huge paper due next week.  Haven't started it.  Oops.  I guess I should get on that.
• I have a group project due sometime in the next while...mid-November...we should get on that too...
• I'm missing the niece's birthday party for work tonight.
• And then there are all the stupid little and not so little frustrations that go on inside and outside of my head that I don't really feel like expounding on.

But then there's a little ray of sunshine that makes your day.

Source: flickr.com via Kelly on Pinterest

You go online to check the calendar of assignments that are due tomorrow.  After all, Mondays are always killer.  And you are the queen of procrastination.  So you pull up the screen.  Look at Monday, October 24. And....

• You notice you don't have a computer science program due on Monday like you normally do.

And then you realize other things that make life a little better too :)

• I have people who listen to me and let me vent my stupid frustrations.
• It's pretty easy homework that's due tomorrow.
• I do like Logan.  Most of the time.
• It's the last day of work for me for the year :) {but maybe I'll go find a new job...unless I keep school as my only "job"}
• There are people in Logan that I miss.  Some I'll see right away.  Others will hopefully be seen soon?
• I got awesome cupcake stuff.  I don't even really feel like making cupcakes right now...but I'm just happy I have it :)

I need to make a giant to-do list and tackle it.

my week in pictures

So the last week has been pretty great. :)

Last Sunday Katie and I went to game night at the Trophy House.  We got there a little late...so we only played Lap Tag.  Katie bruised my arms with her "dagger hands."  I also ended up with rug burn, a broken toenail, and sprained(?) toe.  I don't think it was broken...but maybe it was?  Anyway, it was a poor little pinky toe - blue and gross and didn't like to be walked on.  I think it's almost better, although I can definitely tell it's not all the way there.  BUT it was worth it.  So super fun.

Monday and Tuesday nights were full of homework...and I have a feeling Disney movies too.  Oh and Tuesday Katie and I went over to the Trophy House to play Just Dance 3.  Those people are a bunch of fun :)  I felt pretty awesome when I beat some of the best "dancers."  That game is great.  And so are those boys.

Wednesday...hmm...I can't remember.  We probably watched. a movie?  I honestly don't know.  Our movie collection is quite embarrassing.  Except not really.  We just like having options :)  I think that's the night we watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame.  And I wrote some computer assignment while watching it...It was one of my favorites when I was little.  I still remember my family teasing me about it when I was little.  I would say it one way and they would say it another....and I would correct them the best little Kelly could.  "It's Dame!"  Yeah...only we would get that I guess.

We also went to free pie night at Village Inn with random neighbors that Shayna had met earlier.  Heather was making brownies when they came over...so we turned the oven off and locked our door on our way out.  When we got home, we stopped by to talk to Brian and Craig.  Sarah and Katie went home while the rest of us stayed a few minutes longer.  When we got home, we noticed a brownie sitting on a plate on top of the stove.  We pulled them out of the oven (who knows why it didn't click right then) and that piece was cut right out of the middle.  We just figured Katie or Sarah really like middle pieces and went about normal life.  So we're sitting around...and someone asks who cut the middle piece.  We assumed it was Katie since she was sitting there on the chair eating it.  No one would admit it.  If I had come up with the idea, I think it would have been pretty funny and I would have kept going with it too...so naturally I figured someone was lying - after all the windows were shut and the door was locked.  So we go back to I1 and start talking to them...and they broke so fast.  Apparently, they originally wanted to take our front door, but decided against it...which was extremely smart of them.  So they went to take our oven door...and discovered the pan of brownies inside and decided that was a better idea.  Anyway.  If they had to do anything I'm glad they did what they did...because I have a feeling if the door was gone there would have been police involved before we even found out who took it.  And now we deadbolt our door.

On Thursday Tyler brought her bunny Merv over.  He's a cute fluffy white bunny.  He's potty trained and can be on a leash.  But he doesn't walk (hop?) on the leash very well.  He likes to do his own thing.  People got into a big debate over taking him for a walk vs taking him for a hop.  Any ideas to what it is?  Anyway, our neighbors picked up a puppy for their family.  So Old Farm really was a farm that day.  That puppy was adorable.  I can't wait to have a dog again.  So help me if my husband is allergic.

Oh and I made my family's favorite chocolate mint snow-top cookies.  Let's just say my siblings weren't very happy with me...They got demolished pretty quickly...

And then later that night I went over to Blake's and watched How to Train Your Dragon on bluray.  It was pretty adorable.  For some reason Astrid reminded me of my roommate Tyler.  Plus.  Bluray is quite awesome.  Especially when you watch a VHS the next night...you can see a huge difference.

Friday.  Friday I went to my one class.  And found out that for fall break next week...since our Friday classes are moved to Thursday...she cancelled class!  Exciting! :)  That means I get an extra day!  I also got some homework accomplished - I had to go to the major fair for one of my classes.

The pretty sky on my way to school :)

As I was sitting home on my bed, my phone starts ringing!  Okay.  So the ringing part isn't that cool.  But it turns out it was one of my awesome friends coming to visit me!  Sometimes he's a cool kid.

Later that night we went to the hockey game.  I thought I didn't have a heart.  But apparently I do.  By our fifth point I just felt bad.  I felt bad to cheer.  I didn't even want to clap.  The cheers were mean.  It didn't feel like the basketball and football game cheers.  Those ones seem more general and not as mean-spirited.  These were all pretty directly aimed at the goalie.  And maybe because it was close enough that they could actually hear everything.  I don't know.   I wasn't a huge fan.  We left early...and on our way home we saw the Easter Bunny crossing the street.  And then we watched Aladdin.

He's by that car...

Driving a Zamboni might be cool. Literally. Haha.  Dad joke. 

On Saturday I felt super productive.  I decided to stay home while my roommates went hiking.  I figured I should do some of my Monday homework considering I have like 5 assignments due Monday (today...).  So I got a few of those knocked out of the way.  Then when they got home, Tyler and I went to Violet Hill Boutique.  I bought cute flower earrings and a really comfy brown shirt that has buttons on the sleeves.  It's pretty rad.  I like it.  There were some dresses there that I really liked...but were just too short, especially going into winter.  Oh well.

Later that afternoon, Heather, Tyler, and I went to deliver my visiting teaching assignments...I'm a slacker.  I had them almost a week.  One of the girls reactions was so funny.  It looked like she was heading out on a date or something...and she was like "Is that our visiting teaching assignments?!"  So she takes the pile (it had hers and all her roommates) and starts digging through it excitedly.  Needless to say, I know she'll get it done. I need an attitude more like hers!  I at least have an awesome partner named Heather!  We will be much better than I was last year where I only went a handful of times...because Shayna was the one who cared and got us to do it.

Oh and Tyler found a leaf bug on her truck.  She named him Ginko.  He lived on my nose for a minute.  And we had show-and-tell at I3 (Brett, Matt, and Cody) with him.  And invited them to a movie night.

Anyway, after we did that...we went to the store and I bought all the stuff to make my fabulous pumpkin roll, the treat for our visiting teaching training, and our (me and Heather) crayon art.

I really like Pinterest.  It's where all "my" great ideas come from.  It's the greatest time waster.  But maybe someday I'll make a dent in actually doing what I pin...not just look at it all pretty and forget about it.  You can see my boards *here*.  Oh and if you want to join the addiction, I'd be more than happy to send you an invite.

So anyway...to sum up Saturday night, Heather and I did our crayon artwork while Tyler and Matt and Sarah watched us.  For the gist of how to do it, click *here*  Then we stopped by some dance party the Pie Night boys were holding...for all of about two seconds.  And then played Just Dance 3 over at Brian's because his living room set up is more spacious than ours.

Sunday morning I woke up and started making the pumpkin roll.  I had never made one before.  Or seen my mom make one.  In fact, I had never had one until a supervisor meeting at work when Nikki made it.  Anyway, it was amazing so I figured it was worth a shot.  If I failed, I had at least tried.  I guess I didn't fail though.  Because before the night was over it had somehow disappeared...for the recipe click *here*

And I made homemade oreos (except they weren't really homemade...I bought a boxed mix) for the visiting teaching training we had last night.  I was little miss baker extraordinaire yesterday.  I wanted to make Halloween funfetti cupcakes...but haven't seen the mix lately.  What the heck?  It's not even  Halloween.  You can't be out Walmart.

We went to church...where I really had no attention span.  Except for Sunday school.  Normally it's the opposite.  I get distracted during Sunday school.  But we had a really good lesson taught by Shayna.  It went really well and there was lots of participation too which was nice.

I was all baked out when I got home...so I made soup and toast for dinner.  And learned how to use a toaster oven.  My roommates probably thought I was dumb.  But I've never used one.  I owned one for a minute when Heather (sister) moved to Maryland and gave me a ton of her stuff...but we just gave it to a guy at my dad's work haha.  Then we went to our visiting teacher thing.  And I taught my little rotation.  I always felt like I was rambling and saying the same thing over and over.  And would end early.  But I guess that's what happens when everyone else has two teachers and you are the only one for yours.  But it was cool.  I knew Kim had to work.  It was funny we had been paired together considering she was the only person I really knew beforehand.  I figure it went "good enough" for what I had to work with haha.

And now it's the start of another week....hopefully it can top the last, but the bar is set pretty high...so we'll see :)

scientific fact

A few days ago....

boy:  "There is nothing in this world more beautiful than a Mormon girl who carries herself well.  That's a scientific fact."
me:  "Really? Well...I guess I better work on that."
boy:  "You do well don't worth about it :)"

I guess I'm doing better than I thought?  Either way it renewed my will to do good and be good and to "carry myself well."  By no means am I anywhere near perfect.  Nowhere close.  But I don't have to be.  I just have to be my best.

And I'm pretty sure it's not too scientific...but I'm willing to go with it :)

cold fall days / bliss

Today is one of those cold fall days that takes me back to my childhood.

Coming home from school today I wanted nothing more than to go home,

Turn the heat up high, grab my favorite blanket, put on some comfy pjs, 

And lay down in the living room right over the heat vent 

Using the blanket to create a warm little cocoon.

The best was when Oscar would climb in too.

He was my favorite.  Today I kind of miss him.

Sometimes he would get too hot and leave.

Sometimes I would too.  But I learned how to fight that.

You learn to wear socks to cover up your feet {I hate socks...this was the exception}

And make sure your pjs came all the way down to save your legs from extreme heat.

It's amazing what a thin piece of fabric can do.

Those were the days when you'd watch TV super close.  Or take a nap.

Those days were bliss.

It's days like today that I want to go back in time.

To be at home with my lovely little heat vent

Instead of ~40 degree Logan with snow on the mountains

And promise of a cold winter.

I knew what I was signing up for coming to school here.

I've experienced it.  And I love it.

However much I'd like to go back in time I know I can't.

It's not physically possible.

Even if I drove home now it still wouldn't be quite the same.

The blanket is beginning to look worn with age.

Time has gotten the best of Oscar.

The siblings aren't there.  And the parents aren't half the time either.

You never seem to realize it in the moment

How truly wonderful the simple things in life are.

Heat vent blanket bliss.

Family all being together.

Bliss.

Lately I've been super happy.

I finally got a calling.  It's not anything big, but it shows that I'm needed.

I've made a few new friends.  I think they're pretty great.  And they make me smile.

And I have super roommates.  Sometimes we're loud.  Sometimes we're crazy.

We like to poke fun at one another.  And have really long talks.  And watch movies.

And be best friends.  And watch out for one another.

And my bff Angie was able to visit Logan last weekend.

And I was able to watch all of General Conference for like the first time in years.

And things are falling together quite perfectly.

Bliss.

sometimes it's awkward when...

sometimes it's awkward when...

...when you camp out on the quad and some creeper kid tries to become best friends with you and your roommates. itd be cool if you weren't a creeper...but awkward if you are {see creeper next to katie}

....you help break a world record {it hasn't been updated yet, but according to here we demolished it...}

...one of your old roommates participates in the chain {a few people down} and tells all your old roommates about it...and they start freaking out because you didnt call them and you receive endless questions the next time you see them

...you go to school monday and see sir jedi-braid wiener-face while walking on campus...but either he didnt see you or had the same {pretend you don't exist/youre just another face} reaction you did

...you see mr. i-dont-go-to-school-here can-i-help-you-set-up-and-put-your-stuff-in-your-tent are-you-gay-i-guess-not-since-youre-talking-about-wanting-to-name-your-first-son-augustus on tuesday by the library.  you have the same reaction as you had with sir jedi-braid wiener-face

...you are doing homework and realize none of it's making sense.  and you have a test on friday.  and it's not multiple choice.  okay.  that one's not awkward.  it's awful.

...youre told that youre probably the person someone misses most. im pretty sure you talked to me once in like the two weeks before you left sir. part of me just doesnt buy it

...you write an entire blog post with no capitalization and little punctuation

...but it's even more awkward wHn U tYpE lYk DiS!!!1!11

...you have known a kid for a few weeks and in your head you still call him nate when it's really matt.  sorry...you just seem like a nate.  whatd be even more awkward is if you actually called him nate...which you havent done yet thankfully

...instead of studying for aforementioned test you sit blogging and blog stalking instead

...using the word aforementioned...especially without using a thesaurus. sometimes your brain finds little pockets of smartness/big words leftover from high school

...ending abruptly...

...me

Lions and Nieces and Dancing Oh My!

So after pretending to be a big girl and taking my car to get fixed I was able to go down to Ogden and visit my nieces.  I haven't seen them in a while...I got home from work on Sunday totally expecting them to be there...and they weren't!  So Stephanie, Brooklyn, Bailey, and I decided to go see The Lion King in 3D last night!

source
Thankfully 3D glasses have improved since these awful things

The best part was me IMDBing in the middle of the movie to look up Scar's voice...and discovering Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) is Zazu.  Because of this, Steph and I just busted up laughing in some random part of the movie.  And I kept picturing a little Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement whenever Simba would talk.  And Rafiki reminded me of this person I know from work so I would just laugh because I would picture this person being Rafiki.  I was also reminded of Larry giving to birth to Simba on stage during a choir concert.  Probably one of the funniest things I've seen.

I was glad I got to go down and hang out with those girlies.  It's been different not seeing them as much, but I think everyone is in a good spot with life at the moment.

When I got back to Logan I watched the tail-end of Enchanted with Heather.  I swear Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden have been in all the chick-flicks we've watched recently.

Then Heather decided she wanted to play Just Dance 2.  Knowing this doesn't usually happen, I knew I had to make the most of the opportunity.  Soon after, the other girls came home from Pie Night and joined in the fun.  Eventually Brian came over and started playing too.  So I decided I wanted to play a song I knew I was good at since Creighton pretty much killed me the other night when we were playing his favorite.  Yeah...these boys play this game all the time so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at the outcome.

So this is the song Brian and I danced to:

Yeah...he not only beat me...but he beat my high score.  Granted, I've only played this song like 3 times (plus did it in AquaZumba during the summer) so I probably could have gotten it higher...but yeah.  He won.  I'll have to reclaim my high score sometime when I have time to play.  Or at least beat him some other time :)

My Lovely Logan Home

Here's my lovely messy bed.  And my pillow pet Augustus that Sarah and Kylee bought for my birthday.  Kylee named him since she is pro at naming things like PillowPets and cars.  But notice...my bed is made...so does that count for something?  And see my Diet Coke addiction? 

My closet.  Guess which half is mine?  Yeah...I'm messy, I know.  I want to get crates like my roommate's...but Walmart only has ugly red ones left.  Red doesn't match my stuff.  Therefore...I stay messy.  I need to do something about it sometime though....

Our lovely vanity where we vainly look at ourselves in the mirror.  Okay.  Probably not vainly...but it is where we get ready for the day.

 Yep.  I made this beaut.  I love it.  I love when mistakes turn out better than the original plan.  It was supposed to be four squares...I like lots better though.

And the polka dot bow pillow.  Yep.  Adorable.

 And the button pillow.

 The arm chair...that the door runs into.

And our couch and recliner.  And my ottomans that are oh so great to have.  Perfect for putting your feet up.

 And my entertainment hookup.  Hello electronics.  Also, don't forget to say 'ello to Harry Potter.  He lives in the "cupboard under the stairs."

Somebody got angry and punched a hole in the bathroom door.  At least it wasn't my face this time ;)

 Monogram letters.  I think they're pretty fun.  They're above our HP closet.  If you're confused it's the first letter of the first name of the six of us.

 Our tiny kitchen.  If you look closely, you can see part of the blender in the sink.  I made a delicious strawberry banana smoothie this morning after Zumba.  Mmmm.

 When storage is minimal you learn to improvise.

 I love the stair rail.  I don't know why.  But it just matches our cute little place so perfectly.  Oh.  And I still leave my shoes in the living room like I did at home.

And this little gem.  Deliciousness in the palm of your hand.  Baby Ben and Jerrys.

*School Update*

• I <3 my computer science class.  We really haven't done too much yet...but considering the majority of the classes I haven't looked at the clock I take that as a good sign.  And I find it interesting.  The only thing I don't like is that my computer is being ridiculous and won't download a program I need...and I don't really want to live in the campus computer labs.  I guess I should find someone to help me out.
• Computer science lab - I decided I think the lab instructor is pretty fun.  I think that what makes him so great is his accent.  Everything is more entertaining in an Indian accent.  Is Outsourced the show with all the Indian people?  I should watch that and I'd probably be entertained.
• I dropped Intro to Elementary Education.  The more I looked at what it entailed and I imagined being an elementary teacher, the more I didn't like it.  It's just not me.  And the class seemed like too much effort for having a lack of interest.
• Career and Life Planning.  Yeah.  I thought that class would be a joke.  But it turns out I'm learning a lot about myself.  Some related to careers and majors...and some things of just what makes me who I am.
• MIS - This class is okay.  I like the website stuff.  Except he's going really slow.  I thought Boog taught me nothing.  Okay he did teach me nothing.  But I understand these basics from my high school class.  But I think we might eventually dig a little deeper.  I don't really like the business aspects of it as much.  But you do what you gotta do.
• I like that "gotta" doesn't come up as a misspelled word :)
• Lifespan Development - I still think this class is a joke.  I still think my teacher doesn't know what she's talking about.  BUT I did realize it is going to be a really easy class which is pretty awesome.  Hardly any assignments.  Everything (tests and such) is open book, open note, and online.  I don't even have to go to class on test days :)
• Zumba.  Can you say LOVE?  Yup.  It's pretty fabulous.  I think I may get a Fun Fit Forever pass just so I can take extra classes.  That'd make for two Zumba classes in a day...but hey.  It's great.  I kinda miss Aqua Zumba because I thought that was fun too.  But this works.  Except I'm not too coordinated.  But it's coming along.  There's this foot thing I can do if we just do the feet...but when we add the arms...well let's just say all hope is lost.  Maybe one day I'll get the hang of it.

*church*

So I went to my ward up here in Logan.  I like it here.  I feel like it's really small though.  Oh.  I guess the downfall of sitting next to the Relief Society President in Sunday School is getting asked to say the prayer for RS.  I don't remember the last time I gave a prayer at church.  But hey.  It wasn't the end of the world haha.  I don't necessarily mind...I just choose not to volunteer haha.

Then we went home and ate dinner.  Shayna and Heather cooked us a fabulous meal.  We made roast in the crockpot.  Shayna made us "smashed potatoes."  I asked her the difference between "smashed" and "mashed."  I guess leaving skins on makes them "smashed."  Makes sense!  And we had corn on the cob. (Thanks Dan and Eryka for making me try it!)  Well it all was pretty much delicious.

This picture probably looks disgusting.  But I'm not a food photographer for Food Network or any food type magazines...so hey...it doesn't matter! :)

Then we went to the CES fireside at our stake center.  Can I tell you just how adorable Elder Oaks wife is? I think she's a bundle of fun.  I totally wasn't expecting her to be that funny.  AND I can't believe she was never married until she was 53.  Seriously?  All those boys were crazy.  Anyway.  I thought she gave a great talk.  It was just what I needed to hear.  After seeing all these people my age, older than me, and especially younger than me get engaged and married thoughts sure do run through your mind.  Anyway.  One of the points I took away from her is that the focus right now shouldn't be on getting married.  It should be on living a Christ-centered life.  And obtaining an education.  And just making yourself the best person you can possibly be.  Which is all stuff I need to work on.

So.  I should probably be a good student and do homework.  Especially since today is one of the days I actually feel somewhat productive.