dear boys #4

dear mr. adorable,
I will probably never see you again...which is unfortunate.
You were mighty attractive, super nice, and in love.
I hope you were able to find your girl and make things right.
Thanks for reminding me there are still nice guys my age.
sincerely, girl behind the counter

dear gramps,
Honestly, I'm more sad about you being in that big house by yourself than Grandma being gone.
Although it will take some time to adjust, we know she's happy where she is.
love, your favorite youngest granddaughter

dear friend formerly known as best,
I'm not sure things can go back to what they used to be.
And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that.  Hopefully, you will be too.
sincerely, me

dear teenage boy,
I'm not sure if I should be flattered or awkwarded out.
sincerely, i'll-take-it-as-a-compliment

dear mish,
Um...okay, this is more of a note-to-self, but....
You are now on the downhill slope.
Thanks for always being a good pal.
heart, kell

dear Boy,
I don't know why you've been coming to mind lately.
I haven't talked to you in ages and feel kind of odd if I just start out of the blue.
*insert jumbled thoughts here*
Anyway, I hope you're doing okay.
sincerely, that-one-awkward-girl

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goals and motivation

via

Lately I've been thinking a lot about motivation.  I believe that everyone has a core motivator-- a reason that explains most, if not all the decisions they make in life, whether or not they may make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.

Some of the motivators I can think of off the top of my head include:  money and wealth, knowledge, fun, love and kindness, recognition and power.

Even though someone may be a top executive in their company, their reasoning for why they choose to hold that position is sure to vary.  John may love seeing his bank account increase.   Sally may purely love working in the industry -- she doesn't necessarily need the money, but she enjoys working.  Maybe another exec loves having CEO or CFO as part of their title.  Maybe he or she gets joy watching subordinates squirm and work extra hard as they walk into a room {if this is you, everyone probably hates you}.  Others do it because they have loved ones they wish to take care of and provide the best for.  Honestly, the list could go on and on.

Maybe I've been thinking about this more because I've been talking to this kid whose personal motivator is SO different than mine.  I admire him, but some of his main goals are things that take a back burner in my life.  I think Elise hit the nail right on the head when she said "I am different. I want different things, I react different, and I am not pursuing the same men {or goals} as them. And even if I was, it would be a completely different situation. What worked for their situation, worked for their situation. Are you understanding what I mean by there are no rules?"

That's one of the things I love so much.  We are all DIFFERENT!  Sometimes I worry that my goals in life are insignificant, that they don't amount to much.  And that's just inside my own head.  And then when people tell me their big dreams for the future and how they plan on achieving them, {depending on the day} it seems to just increase the feelings of insignificance for my own.

Just because I don't dream of having a 7+ digit bank account or some BIG title next to my name doesn't mean that my goals are unimportant.  If we were all striving for the same things, the world would have a lot of failures.  And the funny thing is, I can't think of an instance where someone has told me the things I want to do in life are stupid {granted, it's not something I talk about often, or with random people...}  Really, the person who sets my biggest limitations and is the source of all the insecurities is myself.

It's important to remember you don't have to be the "best," you just have to be "good enough."  Only one person can be the best, while many people can be really great.  Just be the best YOU can be and the rest will take care of itself.

i really suck at blogging.

The title pretty much says it all.

I feel like I have so much to say, yet am unable to find the words.  And when I can find the words I don't want to take the risk and be vulnerable.  I know only about three people even read what I write, and the funny thing is I trust these people with most of these feelings, but what holds me back is the potential of other people reading it.  So then I just keep the feelings bottled up.

Some of it is happy.  Some of it is sad.  Some of it is just me needing to vent.  Okay a lot of it lately is just me needing to vent.  And sometimes dwelling on the bad is easier than digging to find the good.

But there is good.  And that's a wonderful thing.  I know that I may not have the easiest life....but I sure as heck don't have the hardest.

happy list april

Once upon a time I stole an idea from my SIL Eryka.  She would make these cute little happy lists at the beginning of each month...and I decided to do the same...except well...I haven't been as consistent.  Anyway, here's this month's!

• it's the last FULL month of school left :)
• don't get me wrong....i love school and logan...but this year my heart has been in bountiful
• general conference
• lagoon is OPEN!
• {i've had a season pass since i was four}
• {it's also my job.  and i love it.}
• springtime flowers
• seeing little high school kids on campus {i can't help but feel EXCITED for them!}
• discovering my love for twitter.  
• my new phone!  {i don't know how i lived with my old one...} 
• this also means more distractions in class....
• encouraging myself to make time for working out {i'm much more pleasant}
• the best teachers make all the difference!
• watching a goose walk up and down stairs {hilarious}

If you do a happy list, let me know!  I love hearing what people put on their lists :)