Grateful.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind.  Amidst all the craziness I have had a renewed sense of gratefulness and deeper appreciation for all that I have been blessed with.

• Eternal Families
•  Last week my cousin passed away unexpectedly.  This has been extremely difficult for everyone in my immediate and extended family.  Within the past three months, my cousin lost their newborn and my grandma passed away as well.  I'm grateful that not only are families forever, but I have a family I want to be with forever.
• Modern Medicine
• Smart doctors.  Technology improvements.  Everything.  My brother and sister-in-law's babies decided the other day, "Hey.  You guys look like fun...we wanna come play!"  Thankfully babies C&H aren't here quite yet.  For the full story, click here.
• School
• Even though it's super frustrating at times, I'm grateful I have the opportunity to get an education.  I am learning a lot of things I would have never known otherwise.  I'm still unsure of the purpose of me majoring in business is...but maybe someday I'll find out.  It definitely was a learning curve since I strayed away from everything semi-related in high school.  Business people were just obnoxious salespeople to me....then I learned there was more to it.
• I'm also grateful I pushed myself in high school to be a good student.  It has blessed my study habits and gave me the opportunity to have scholarships.
• Nice People
• Friends are great.  They arrange a study session so you don't fail a test, feed your social life with haunted houses and horror movies, and offer to take notes in classes you share.  They go out to dinner with you and listen to you ramble random stories.  Little acts of kindness add up to be a huge thing.
• My Job
• I have a job I love!  I don't think I could work anywhere else on the park for as long as I have.  The people in my department make it what it is.  I love the cute little notes people put up on Facebook at the end of the year, especially the personalized ones.  I love being able to contribute to making work enjoyable for them as well.  I have met so many people of different backgrounds and out of the hundreds of people I have met I would love working with 99.5% of them again.  I have made so many friends while learning valuable work skills and life lessons along the way.

And here's a quick list of the rest.  I'm materialistic and I like food.

• Diet Coke
• Muffins
• Spanx
• Taylor Swift
• The National Parks
• Target
• My Car
• Cafe Rio and Joy Luck
• Junk Food
• Pineapple
• Oversized Sweaters
• Prayer
• Flat Irons
• E-mail
• Music
• Skinny Jeans
• Old Navy
• The Gospel
• Pretty Little Liars and The Walking Dead
• My Family
• Cozy Blankets

focus on the happy

1 2 3 4 or find all here

Attitude is a funny thing.  Depending what yours is like, it can make or break a situation.  I'm not always overflowing with optimism, so sometimes I have to remind myself of the good things in life.

I could be upset that school is starting and it's my senior year, that I'm in an apartment complex where I know next to no one, and that the majority of my friends are getting married, going on missions, or just not in Logan.

However, everything can be looked at with a different light.  It just depends on my attitude.  I can be *excited* that I only have three more semesters left of school {still working on that excitement though...}.  I can be grateful for the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends and appreciate the ones who are still in Logan with me.  I can be happy that my friends are doing great things with their lives and grateful that we all have our own timetables.

I had actually started writing this last night, but I've learned you have to let real life take priority.  Why would you want to replace free food, a free movie, and getting to know some pretty cool new people with the Internet?  Beats me.

Seize opportunities when they come.  Focus on the happy.  Life will be so much more enjoyable if you do.

dear boys #4

dear mr. adorable,
I will probably never see you again...which is unfortunate.
You were mighty attractive, super nice, and in love.
I hope you were able to find your girl and make things right.
Thanks for reminding me there are still nice guys my age.
sincerely, girl behind the counter

dear gramps,
Honestly, I'm more sad about you being in that big house by yourself than Grandma being gone.
Although it will take some time to adjust, we know she's happy where she is.
love, your favorite youngest granddaughter

dear friend formerly known as best,
I'm not sure things can go back to what they used to be.
And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that.  Hopefully, you will be too.
sincerely, me

dear teenage boy,
I'm not sure if I should be flattered or awkwarded out.
sincerely, i'll-take-it-as-a-compliment

dear mish,
Um...okay, this is more of a note-to-self, but....
You are now on the downhill slope.
Thanks for always being a good pal.
heart, kell

dear Boy,
I don't know why you've been coming to mind lately.
I haven't talked to you in ages and feel kind of odd if I just start out of the blue.
*insert jumbled thoughts here*
Anyway, I hope you're doing okay.
sincerely, that-one-awkward-girl

giving in to blog lovin'

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goals and motivation

via

Lately I've been thinking a lot about motivation.  I believe that everyone has a core motivator-- a reason that explains most, if not all the decisions they make in life, whether or not they may make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.

Some of the motivators I can think of off the top of my head include:  money and wealth, knowledge, fun, love and kindness, recognition and power.

Even though someone may be a top executive in their company, their reasoning for why they choose to hold that position is sure to vary.  John may love seeing his bank account increase.   Sally may purely love working in the industry -- she doesn't necessarily need the money, but she enjoys working.  Maybe another exec loves having CEO or CFO as part of their title.  Maybe he or she gets joy watching subordinates squirm and work extra hard as they walk into a room {if this is you, everyone probably hates you}.  Others do it because they have loved ones they wish to take care of and provide the best for.  Honestly, the list could go on and on.

Maybe I've been thinking about this more because I've been talking to this kid whose personal motivator is SO different than mine.  I admire him, but some of his main goals are things that take a back burner in my life.  I think Elise hit the nail right on the head when she said "I am different. I want different things, I react different, and I am not pursuing the same men {or goals} as them. And even if I was, it would be a completely different situation. What worked for their situation, worked for their situation. Are you understanding what I mean by there are no rules?"

That's one of the things I love so much.  We are all DIFFERENT!  Sometimes I worry that my goals in life are insignificant, that they don't amount to much.  And that's just inside my own head.  And then when people tell me their big dreams for the future and how they plan on achieving them, {depending on the day} it seems to just increase the feelings of insignificance for my own.

Just because I don't dream of having a 7+ digit bank account or some BIG title next to my name doesn't mean that my goals are unimportant.  If we were all striving for the same things, the world would have a lot of failures.  And the funny thing is, I can't think of an instance where someone has told me the things I want to do in life are stupid {granted, it's not something I talk about often, or with random people...}  Really, the person who sets my biggest limitations and is the source of all the insecurities is myself.

It's important to remember you don't have to be the "best," you just have to be "good enough."  Only one person can be the best, while many people can be really great.  Just be the best YOU can be and the rest will take care of itself.

i really suck at blogging.

The title pretty much says it all.

I feel like I have so much to say, yet am unable to find the words.  And when I can find the words I don't want to take the risk and be vulnerable.  I know only about three people even read what I write, and the funny thing is I trust these people with most of these feelings, but what holds me back is the potential of other people reading it.  So then I just keep the feelings bottled up.

Some of it is happy.  Some of it is sad.  Some of it is just me needing to vent.  Okay a lot of it lately is just me needing to vent.  And sometimes dwelling on the bad is easier than digging to find the good.

But there is good.  And that's a wonderful thing.  I know that I may not have the easiest life....but I sure as heck don't have the hardest.

happy list april

Once upon a time I stole an idea from my SIL Eryka.  She would make these cute little happy lists at the beginning of each month...and I decided to do the same...except well...I haven't been as consistent.  Anyway, here's this month's!

• it's the last FULL month of school left :)
• don't get me wrong....i love school and logan...but this year my heart has been in bountiful
• general conference
• lagoon is OPEN!
• {i've had a season pass since i was four}
• {it's also my job.  and i love it.}
• springtime flowers
• seeing little high school kids on campus {i can't help but feel EXCITED for them!}
• discovering my love for twitter.  
• my new phone!  {i don't know how i lived with my old one...} 
• this also means more distractions in class....
• encouraging myself to make time for working out {i'm much more pleasant}
• the best teachers make all the difference!
• watching a goose walk up and down stairs {hilarious}

If you do a happy list, let me know!  I love hearing what people put on their lists :)

ready

maybe it's just stress.  or maybe it's just me being in a continual bad mood....but...

may 3, 2013 cannot come soon enough.  i'm more than ready to leave logan.

44 days.

plans

One thing I like to have is a plan...or at least a general idea of what I'm doing/what's going on.
It's one of the reasons I struggled with being undeclared until I was a junior.  I felt like I had no plan, no direction, and no idea where I was going.  And then, once I figured out it was supposed to be business, life was well in that area.

Now I've hit another bump in life where I feel like I have no plan.  I don't know where I'm going.  I don't know what I'm doing.  As soon as I feel like I'm making decisions, I change my mind, start second guessing myself, or it just plain falls through, which I find the most frustrating part of all.

And I'm to the point I'm not sure what to do, except to have faith that God has a plan for me, and that His plan is the best.  It means that I still have to keep searching.  Everything's not going to fall into place without any effort.  But I guess I'm going to have to develop greater patience too.

Anyway...here is some happiness from Pinterest :)

Source: imgfave.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: spirituallythinking.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: petvideostoday.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: lollyjaneboutique.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: angelamuir.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Source: blogginwithbobbi.blogspot.com via Kelly on Pinterest

{I didn't intentionally put so many quotes from church leaders...but what can I say?  They're pretty wise :) }

little letters

dear mexico,
the past two mondays have been swell chatting with you.
you really make my brain hurt though.
i miss you.
love,
     confused

dear roommates,
i'm proud you've decided to start watching the walking dead.
i love "this is giving me anxiety!!!" and "no!!!!" and all your other reactions.
and it's only just the beginning.
<3
     kel

dear self,
why are you only wearing one sock?
sometimes you make no sense.
okay...a lot of times
sincerely,
     semi-sockless


dear indie,
there are several attractive things about you and you seem super cool.
i'd be completely fine dating.
<3
     that one girl


dear gramps,
okay.  calling you gramps is weird.
you're grandpa clark.
anyway.  i do think it's kind of adorable you died the same day as grandma clark...but ten years apart.
<3
     kelly

dear bear army,
i'm maybe a little bit sorry you were defeated.
mainly because you were made out of rice krispies and i want to eat more of you.
too bad i didn't take a picture of you...you were festive in your red bow ties and heart eyes.
sincerely,
     girl with an awesome mom

dear farm boy,
you are a pretty swell kid to talk to.
my brain doesn't know what to think of you.
<3
     little city girl

dear valentines day,
yep.  you're practically here again.
nope.  my status has yet to change.
however, i'm excited to spend it with the people i love the most:  my family.
sincerely,
     "simply single"

dear blog,
you're pretty much a work in progress.
but it's more fun to experiment with you than to study for tests and write essays...
sincerely,
     pro procrastinator

dear work,
i miss you.
so needless to say, i'm excited to start back up on saturday.
my kids are silly and ridiculous...but most of the time they're pretty great.
sincerely,
     year seven

dear letter list,
you're getting ridiculously long.
it's time to go.
until next time,
     kel

daylight

This is my cousin saying goodbye to his dog for the next two years while he goes to do what he's dreamt of his whole life.  He's going to learn to fly Blackhawk helicopters.  This picture and song pair together so perfectly and I love how so much emotion is conveyed in both of them.

Good luck Andy!  We love you!

disappear

Sometimes I like to disappear and reappear on this little blog.  It's not the first time...and I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the last.

Washington D.C. temple in December

Anyway....in my absence, life has happened.  Nothing too exciting, but life is good.
Here's some of my goings-on:

• Lots and lots of school
• ALL business classes this semester
• Some are super boring...so thankfully I have friends to keep me sane
• Some professors are super rad
• I got a promotion at work....not one hundred percent sure what it entails yet, but it should be good!
• I flew to Maryland in December to visit my seester -- super fun and super pretty :)
• MLK weekend = my roommate's cabin at Bear Lake
• The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Mumford & Sons, and Imagine Dragons have been on constant repeat
• Countless games of Murder in the Dark have been played with Old Farm friends
• I've become addicted to The Walking Dead
• I've also developed an addiction to Wheat Thins
• With all the snow and ice we've had I'm proud to say I've only fallen twice {and only bruised once} 

Sometimes it's nice to have life be semi-slow....it gives you a lot more time to enjoy it :)

beauty

Snow.

In my vocabulary, snow is usually a word letter word {okay....so it is a four letter word}.

Today my roommates and I were unable to drive to a Linger Longer {awesome food + socializing after church} because our roommate with 4-wheel drive went home for the weekend and the roommate with the best tires was unable to make it out of the parking lot.  So we hitched a ride to the church...but this also meant we were left car-less up there.  Instead of mooching a ride back {which I'm sure someone would have gladly given us}, we decided to make the journey home on foot.

And I'm so glad we did.

Beauty surrounds us every day.

Sometimes we don't realize it.  Or choose to complain instead.

• "It's too cold"
• "I hate shoveling"
• "People drive too slow"
• "Can it just be summer already?"
• "I am so tired of the snow!!!"
• And a myriad of other complaints floating around

Normally, I'm quite guilty of this and would have a hatred of snow building inside me too.  This week I'm deciding to

Appreciate More, Complain Less

I do wish sidewalks and roads could shovel and plow themselves though...

I sure do love our pretty little winter wonderland we've been given :)