Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Over on Eryka and Ashley's blogs their weekly linkup is "Most Memorable Dates."

I'm not sure if this really qualifies as a "date" {I like to think of it more as a business transaction...but I know that's really not the case}, but Miss Kelly doesn't get asked on many {if any!} dates, so this will have to work :) {'s rather long...}

So it is somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2010...I receive a text from my brother asking if I'll do him a favor.  He was buying all the seasons of the Office for Eryka for Christmas, but still needed season 6.  On KSL he found a guy selling it who lived in Logan.

"Can you pick it up and I'll pay you back?" he asks.

He gives me the guy's phone number.  I text Mr. Travis and say "Hey I'm Kelly, Dan's sister.  He was wanting to buy the Office from you? Here are times that work for me {insert times...}. Do any of these work for you?"

We pick a time and decide to meet at the mall {public place, yo!} in a few days.  I thought that was that...but no.  He keeps texting me.  I'm polite.  I respond to his questions.  I think I even asked my own. {Why, Kelly?! WHY?}  There were probably even flirty texts too.  Barf.

One of the nights prior I mention how bored I am and he says I should come visit him at work. {Woah now.  I don't even know who this guy is!}  It's like 11:30 at night, mind you, but Kylee and I hop into my car and drive to Walmart to go grocery shopping. {Walmart.  Yes.  Why did it not click that all the creepers work the night shift at Logan's Walmart?}

Anyway, we grab a cart and wander around the store looking at the badges of all the employees while we are shopping.  We finish and wander a bit more.  We finally give up and head towards the check out.  As we are walking we pass one more employee.  Travis.  But it didn't register to actually look and commit to memory until it was too late.  All we could remember was that he was a heavy-set man with glasses {glasses are generally attractive in my book}.

So we leave.  I check my phone and I have a text.  I say sorry and inform him we're already on our way home.  Anyway, we keep texting.  Somehow I'm informed he has a daughter named Lily.  Whatevs.

Fast forward. It is Tuesday.  The day of our business transaction.  He calls me a little before to make sure I was still planning on it.  Give the gist of what type of person to look for, etc.  He decides we'll get pretzels while we're at the mall {this mall is tiny.  It has some Japanese food place and a Pretzelmaker.  Logan please get a real food court!}.  I hang up.  Less than five minutes later I get a text saying what a pretty voice I have and that it must belong to a pretty girl.  I don't know whether to be flattered or creeped out.  I think I leaned toward the latter.

Now, as a nineteen year old, with a head semi-attached to my shoulders, I tell my roommates at least one of them has to come with me {online deals can be sketchy you know!}.  Three of them happily volunteer.  They walk in a few minutes later and sit a few tables away.

Travis and I and his child sit there.  Awkwardly.  Eating pretzels. {well not his child.  she's only 6 months old.} Except I don't know if he feels the awkward.  We talk.  I'm not thrilled with anything I'm hearing.  Or seeing. {debt galore, six month old, walmart, unattractive, AWFUL teeth, no direction in life, etc....} I keep stealing glances over to my roommates.  PLEASE just look over at me was the desperate plea running through my mind.  Save me.  It was like they were avoiding my general direction entirely.

Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I see them stand up to throw away their garbage.
"Oh look!  I think my roommates are ready to leave!"
I give him the money and he hands me the grocery sack full of DVD cases.  Pretty sure this isn't what Dan wanted.  They look like the kind you rent, all discs in separate cases.  But I'm ready to bolt, so I don't question it.

My roommates and I head to Walmart {honestly we make so many trips here in a week.  Logan please get a Target}.  My phone vibrates.  "Just couldn't wait to get away, huh?"

How am I supposed to respond to this?!  I b.s. some answer.  I don't really like to be rude.  If I am, it's usually sarcasm.  I think I ended up telling him I had something with a friend that was about to turn into something more and was more interested in pursuing that.

Later that night I get another text asking if I had any friends I could set him up with.  "I really want to get back into the dating pool."  I tell him I'll ask around.  Honestly, all my friends deserve better than him.  I didn't lie though.  I did ask around...I just didn't present him in the most favorable light {I'm awful, I know haha}.

I think I ended up getting a few more texts from him checking up on the friends thing and me.  Desperate much?  Yeah...I ignored him and eventually he got the hint.

I told my brother he owed me $7000 because of it.  p.s. dude - you still owe me well over 6 grand :)
pps. Dan didn't even end up using the DVDs I got.  It was all for nothing!


  1. Bahaha I am sorry Dan put you through that! :)

    1. Hahaha yeah. Most of it was my own stupidity...but I still like to blame him :)

  2. haha this is so something that would happen in my life, i'm not even joking. i always find myself in the WEIRDEST situations. that's so funny though... what a good sister you are!

    1. It really does seem like something you could add to your list of odd boys! Seriously...what is with some of the guys in the world?

  3. YES. I loved this. and p.s. Look at my blog. I tagged you in something :)

    1. You didn't go to the mall with me, did you? But you still got to see most of it! Creepers! And I saw it! Will totally do it next blog post! (How many more exclamation points can I use?)

  4. Ps you owe me $50 jerk. I didn't read your blog post. I just want my money.

    1. You totally read it. And next time I see you you should get it.

  5. HA HA HA The only way this story could be better is if this guy rode in on a Jazzy

    1. Hahaha that would have been the icing on the cake!

  6. Aweful teeth... that's always a turnoff for me ;) Such a funny story! Awkward for you though. :(

    Thank you for your words on my "love spread" post the other day... it's sad to see that some people don't like their families isn't it? I have been blessed with a Godly family that loves me. I'm so glad you are too!

    Have a great weekend, Kelly!



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