defeated

defeated. discouraged. depressed. disheartened.

Those words kind of describe how I've been feeling lately.  Now there are a lot of factors that could be contributing to these feelings.  There are quite a few that I can think of...but maybe they're not.  Maybe if those factors didn't exist I'd still be feeling this way.  I like blaming the factors though.  Here are a few....

• I think I'm sick yet again.  Or maybe it's just allergies.
• I move home a week from today.  I love my family...but I love Logan.  And living with people my age  {well at least the roommates I have now...who knows what fall will bring}  And I know I'll be back in 3 months....but still.  However...I won't miss hiking up the stairs to the 4th floor.  And probably won't miss the 10,000 trips to Walmart we make every week.
• I have a 4-page, single-spaced paper due next week on a topic I'm just going to b.s.
• I have 4 finals.  
• Being the awkward third-wheel.  Again.
• I don't want to start packing up 8 and a half months worth of stuff.
• I'm a little tired of wedding fever {family, friends, high school people, and especially the Royal wedding....}  I'm happy for everyone...just sick of hearing about it every second
• I pretty much failed my last test I took

But look at the bright side!

• That test I failed?  It can be dropped if I do well on the final.  I did really well on the first three tests in that class so I'm hoping it will work out :)
• Out of my 4 finals only 1 is cumulative
• I get to see my family lots
• Most of my roommates live within 10 or so minutes of my house...which is pretty awesome since I didn't know half of them existed before I came up here
• My grandparents are letting me keep my school stuff in their basement which means I'll actually be able to function in my bedroom at home.
• My bedroom at home is finally mine again.  It became a makeshift sewing room about a year and a half ago with different projects constantly coming up {youth conference outfits for the stake, bridesmaid dresses, wedding helper aprons, etc.}  Now it's not in my room anymore and I can actually see my floor, get to my closet, and so much more :)
• Shayna got us an appointment to the temple.  And I had just renewed my temple recommend only like 2 or 3 weeks earlier.

via

• Final day of institute - one of the slides had this quote from Boyd K. Packer
• "Life moves all too fast. When you feel weak, discouraged, depressed, or afraid, open the Book of Mormon and read. Do not let too much time pass before reading a verse, a thought, or a chapter." {from this talk}
• Pretty sure that was meant for me...now I guess I should act on it.
• We're partying tonight.  Except I don't care all that much for Sean Kingston...but I can pretend right?  Or maybe we'll decide to do something more fun :) Who knows?
• Oh and Janie makes me laugh.  Read this.  I love her.

But now is the time to go to Firehouse and figure out how to spend the rest of the night!